A hapu ndu kpaa aku—onye iro eri ya! (Health is Wealth)

The first and perhaps only true determinant of happiness is found in not constantly searching for happiness. Statistics show that the rate at which people consume alcohol has declined significantly, but many have switched to harder substances. While alcohol consumption is not good either, people who are constantly searching for happiness or trying to escape reality have upgraded to more dangerous substances.

These hard substances are a major reason we are witnessing increasing rates of kidney failure, liver failure, and mental breakdowns among young people today.

On the other hand, while drugs are affecting mostly young men, the fashion and beauty industries are giving young women reasons to become artificial. There is a reason it is called artificial or plastic. The quest to avoid aging has led many people to use organic creams containing high levels of steroids and other substances, sometimes unknown even to those mixing them.

These concoctions have contributed greatly to the rise of diseases such as cancer, kidney failure, and liver failure.

In today’s world, people are not reading as much anymore. Content creators have become the primary source of information for many. We often know the truth from the lies, yet for some reason, we ignore the truth and embrace the lies.

There are many disturbing things happening in today’s society. Even when we know they are wrong, we choose to participate in them because we do not want to appear different or be seen as unaccommodating.

My point is that it is time to educate yourself and define your own values and principles. Take charge of your health and well-being. Many of the people parading as if they care are business men and women. They are often more concerned about profits than about your health or recovery.

The only lasting happiness is the one that comes from within—the understanding that life will not always be perfect and that things will not always go according to plan. External stimulants and substances only keep people trapped and stagnant in misery.

Here is what I propose, especially for those who are constantly trying to impress others: remember that you are unique and enough. Sadly, no one is really watching you until you start doing something extraordinary.

Read and question every piece of information. Protect yourself from these business men and women by eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. Food is different from a product; one exists for nutritional purposes, while the other is often designed primarily for the manufacturer’s gain.

Open your eyes and ears to positive energy, and close your mouth to negative words. Speak life into your days and nights, and never curse yourself.

In the end, what matters is not how beautiful you look, but how beautifully you have lived in the hearts of others. Always question decisions that do not align with your vision. Finally, do not simply exist in a vacuum; make sure your life is being lived with purpose.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

Our Disunity Is Their Weapon and Strength

Three brothers fell in love with one beautiful girl. None of them was willing to step aside for the others; each wanted to marry her. The girl, on the other hand, was just as confused as the brothers. She could not choose one over the others because each of them played a unique role in her life.

The kind of blindness that obsession creates left them fighting over one girl. One day, they decided to consult a native doctor. After interpreting his affa, the wise native doctor told them that the one who would not say a single word until they got home would be the one the girl would choose.

The three brothers left. As they walked, the youngest reminded the others of what the native doctor had said and then laughed. The second brother immediately responded, “You have said a word.” The oldest then concluded, “Thank God I did not say a word.”

It was at that moment that they all realized they had breached the instruction given to them. It became clear that none of them would marry the beautiful girl unless they either worked together or allowed one among them to marry her.

This story highlights what happens when we refuse to allow ourselves and others to grow. It reveals how our actions may unintentionally become the very factors that hold us back. The joy that comes from succeeding at the detriment or failure of another person often leads to our own failure.

Now, imagine the beautiful girl as Nigeria, and the three brothers as the three major ethnic groups in the country.

Deep down, most people want Nigeria to work. They believe that we are better off together than apart. However, our actions toward one another and our unwillingness to allow our brothers and sisters to grow continue to hold everyone back.

This beautiful country needs all of us because every ethnic group brings something unique and valuable. The unity of the brothers would mean greater benefits for the bride. Likewise, the unity of our people would mean a stronger and more prosperous Nigeria.

When one region is in crisis, another region celebrates, while others simply thank God that it is not happening to them. What we often fail to understand is that when we lift our brother’s hands, our own hands are lifted as well.

The message here is simple: let us unite our ideas and promote individual development for the collective good. As the brothers struggled to possess the beautiful bride, it became evident that a house divided against itself cannot stand.

People are still selling their votes. Activists are being jailed. Ordinary citizens are dying of hunger. The sick cannot afford hospital bills. Yet many continue to promote ethnic and religious division.

Many Nigerians are saddened by the treatment they receive in South Africa, forgetting that we have not fully embraced peace and harmony among ourselves. We discriminate against one another even within our own country.

Our people have a saying: if a man calls his pot bin, his neighbour will use it to pack dirt.

We may be approaching one of our last opportunities to liberate ourselves from this bondage. They are testing their prototype with these off-cycle elections, observing how easily people can be bought. Yes, there is hunger today, but the hunger that will come if we pretend to be asleep during these elections may be far worse.

Always remember that you are somebody, any day and at any time. Do not sell your vote. Say no to religious and ethnic bias. We do not have to be the same to live together.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

Be Authentic and Be Open to Learning

There is a story about a king who had three faithful successors. Tradition required that a king name his heir at a certain age to maintain order and prevent future family feuds.

This wise king, unsure of whom to choose, decided to test their character, wisdom, and loyalty. In those days, elders often spoke in riddles and created challenges to test the reasoning ability of their children.

He called the three young men and gave each of them a seed. He instructed them to plant and nurture the seed, saying that whoever’s seed germinated, grew, and bore fruit within two years would become his successor.

The three men happily took their seeds and planted them separately.

The seed was well known throughout the kingdom, and everyone knew it usually germinated quickly. However, after three months, none of the seeds had sprouted, and concern began to grow.

Two of the young men decided to obtain similar seeds from elsewhere. After all, they reasoned, if a tree grew, how would the king know whether it came from the original seed or not?

The third man, however, continued watering his seed faithfully, even though nothing appeared. Eventually, he told himself that perhaps it was not his destiny to become king. Since the other two men’s seeds had germinated and blossomed, he resolved to support whichever of them was chosen.

Little did he know that the others had secretly replaced the seeds the king had given them.

On the appointed day, the gong sounded: Kom! Kom! Ko! Ko! Kom! The people gathered, and the king welcomed everyone. It was time for the three men to present the results of their efforts.

The first arrived with a flourishing tree bearing fruit. The second did the same. The crowd applauded loudly. Young men and women celebrated the occasion with excitement and admiration.

Then the third man stepped forward—not with fruit, but with honesty.

He said, “My King, I am honored to have been considered for this position. However, my seed never germinated despite my efforts. I have come only to tell the truth.”

The king smiled and said, “My son, you are the chosen one.”

The crowd fell silent.

The king continued, “I gave each of you a boiled seed, knowing fully well that it could never germinate. These two men deceived me because they wanted to become king by any means necessary.”

Those who had cheered moments earlier suddenly became speechless.

Lessons and Reflections

How often do we rush through a process simply to enjoy people’s praise?

Many people choose leaders because they appear successful, even when their actions produce no meaningful results in the lives of those they lead.

We must understand that the process is just as important as the outcome—if not more important.

A results-only mindset is why a young girl with no job or skill may return home with an expensive phone, yet no one asks how she acquired it.

It is also why a young man with no legitimate source of income can buy expensive cars, stay in luxury hotels, and receive applause from society.

Today, we often celebrate material possessions without questioning the process through which they were acquired.

My point is simple: we must learn to value due process in every aspect of life—education, leadership, business, politics, and personal development.

It is time we stopped celebrating wealth that creates no value for others.

Be like Nkemakolam. Trust the process. Believe in yourself. Do not cheat.

Our people have a saying: “He who is in a hurry to harvest yam will still have to sit down and dig it out when it breaks apart in the soil.”

The lesson is clear: be patient with yourself. Celebrate success that comes through value creation, hard work, and integrity. In doing so, we encourage others to follow the same path.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi

Majoring in Minor Things

I had a conversation today with a colleague whose daughter is only 23 years old. She explained how her daughter had already saved nearly 10% of the deposit needed for a mortgage. Having just graduated from university and secured a well-paying job, this means she was able to save a significant amount while still studying. She achieved this partly because she wanted to be responsible, but largely because her government has a functional system in place that makes such opportunities possible.

As I listened, I could see how proud her mother was, not because of the system itself, since that system has always been there to help citizens thrive, but because her daughter chose to take advantage of the opportunities available to her.

Reflecting on this, especially as it relates to Nigeria and Africa at large, I cannot help but ask myself: Why? And how can we free ourselves from this illusion and delusion called leadership?

What is the average 23-year-old African doing today? In fact, let me narrow it down: What are we doing in Nigeria?

Many of the leaders we have today enjoyed free education and attended prestigious institutions, yet they seem to lack the vision and commitment required to build a nation. The opportunities they enjoyed in their youth are often denied to the very citizens they claim to serve.

Go online and observe the conversations. Everyone seems to be dancing, discussing celebrity news and marital affairs, while the real issues facing the nation receive little attention without being filtered through religion or ethnicity. Leaders write books explaining why they failed and who is to blame, while others raise billions to celebrate those excuses.

Musicians, on the other hand, often produce lyrics that do little to create awareness, challenge poor policies, or inspire hope. Many songs revolve around money, fraud, and women. One is left wondering: What happened to songs about education, skills, patriotism, peace, unity, values, and morality? What happened to music that united people and inspired positive change? Musicians are now called entertainers, not prophets, as they were often regarded in the past.

It pains me that many people see money as something to accumulate rather than a tool that can be used to improve society. People seek power only to become servants of wealth and political godfathers, neglecting those they promised to lead. They compare our challenges with the mistakes of other nations while ignoring the developments those same nations have achieved.

How can someone who becomes wealthy only after assuming public office be treated like a demigod instead of being held accountable? Citizens sing and dance for bags of rice and salt in a country where the healthcare system barely functions.

There is so much happening in Nigeria today, enough to demand a national awakening. We need to stand together, not against one another, but against the systems and attitudes that continue to hold us back. The continuous impoverishment of the people, reckless borrowing without corresponding development, and the mentality that anything foreign is automatically superior must all be questioned.

Can someone truly love you more than you love yourself? What would make someone who once held you in chains suddenly care more about your future than you care about your own?

This is not a call to hate anyone. It is simply a call to awareness, responsibility, and accountability. We deserve to live safely in our own country and enjoy the benefits of our natural resources.

The solution is not outside us—it is within us and among us. Until we stop majoring in minor things and start focusing on the issues that determine our survival and progress, we risk wasting the sacrifices and efforts of those who came before us.

The war is still on; only the methods have changed. If the bird learns to fly without perching, the hunter must learn to aim without stopping. He who has not reached his destination cannot afford to grow weary.

Nigerians and Africans must rise, not against one another, but against our common enemies: sickness, poverty of mind and body, corruption, poor leadership, and the absence of character.

I will leave you with the words of Harriet Tubman:

“I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.”

Who is your master? Is it money, ignorance, greed, or grandiosity?

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi

Beware of false praises.

I want to discuss something that is gradually becoming part of our culture and, somehow, we are normalising it.

Have you noticed that when a woman is single, she often receives far less attention from men than when she is married? Once a woman gets married, even when it is obvious that she is pregnant, some men still seek intimate relations with her. This behaviour can be described as covetousness—the envious desire to possess what belongs to another person.

While the tendency to desire what others have can exist in all human beings, it appears particularly common in matters involving relationships. This is one reason God warned against coveting another person’s spouse. A man’s ability to resist the urge to pursue another man’s wife is what distinguishes self-discipline from indulgence.

The essence of this message is to point out that the man who approaches you when you are already in a relationship or married is not necessarily doing so because he cares for you more than your husband does. In many cases, he is motivated by the desire to possess what belongs to someone else. Understanding this can be empowering. Once you recognise that some of the praise, attention, and admiration you receive from other men while married may not be genuine, but rather an expression of covetousness, you will be in a better position to make wise decisions about your family and your relationship.

Remember that even your husband may encounter similar temptations, yet he chooses to remain committed because he values what you both share. Faithfulness is often a matter of principle, discipline, and respect for one’s commitments.

It is also important to acknowledge that some people are drawn to relationships primarily for status, influence, or financial security. Such individuals may be tempted to abandon a partner when someone perceived to be more successful comes along. While this tendency can be observed in some women and men, it should not be used to judge everyone, as every individual is different.

When a covetous person pursues someone who is already married, the outcome often depends on the character, values, and convictions of the person being pursued. Wealth, status, or social standing may influence some decisions, but integrity remains the strongest defence against temptation.

In summary, much of the praise and attention that comes from outsiders once you are married or in a committed relationship should be viewed with wisdom and caution. Appreciate kind words, but do not allow them to cloud your judgment. If a spouse repeatedly chooses infidelity over commitment, despite understanding the consequences, difficult decisions may need to be made. Likewise, if someone consistently pursues other people’s spouses, it reflects a lack of self-control and respect for boundaries.

Ultimately, the people best suited for lasting relationships are those who have mastered themselves—those who recognise their capacity to covet or to be unfaithful, yet choose faithfulness out of principle, love, and commitment to family unity.

The growing trend of excusing bad behaviour and immorality is contributing to the erosion of many families. Our failure to understand and manage our human nature often keeps us below the moral standards we claim to uphold.

Every person is called to obey the Ninth and Tenth Commandments: leave other people’s spouses alone, exercise self-control, and recognise deception for what it is. In the end, people are responsible for their choices. Therefore, be wise.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

Balancing the Old Culture and the New Culture

It is important to highlight that the values and roles traditionally performed by men in the old culture, such as protection, provision, and decision-making are still very relevant. What has changed, however, is that men are no longer the sole providers, protectors, or decision-makers in many homes today.

Many men are struggling to accept this reality, especially when some women still attach leadership solely to roles or financial status and use it to belittle them. For instance, when some women begin to earn more than their husbands, they may feel they have automatically become the leaders of the home, and therefore expect their husbands to assume roles traditionally associated with wives.

This idea is often presented as freedom and independence for women, but very few people ask: freedom and independence from whom, and from what?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man deciding to cook or do household chores for his family. The issue lies in the mindset or perception behind it especially when such actions are forced by disrespect, manipulation, or unhealthy expectations.

It is often in these situations that a man’s innate nature and ego are challenged. Some men, understanding the danger of allowing conflict to destroy their homes, seek counsel and guidance early. Others, however, allow emotions to get the better of them and end up losing themselves and their families in the process. Sadly, it is usually the children who pay the ultimate price through emotional and psychological trauma.

Therefore, the new culture demands maturity and self-control from both men and women in relationships. Being a husband should not be measured solely by how much a man contributes financially. A man’s leadership and manhood should not be defined only by his ability to provide, but also by his ability to be a loving father and supportive husband to his wife and children.

Some may ask: how can a man effectively be a father or husband if he cannot adequately provide for his family?

The truth is that many children who grew up without the presence of either their father or mother often carry a deep emotional vacuum, even when the remaining parent provided them with a comfortable life. In many cases, you hear statements like:

“I didn’t grow up with my father. I didn’t have a male figure in my life to teach me what to look out for in a man as a young girl.”

The same applies to boys who grow up without proper parental guidance.

This proves that the presence of a loving father in the home provides emotional and psychological security for children. I place emphasis on fathers because many of them are gradually being replaced or pushed aside, and when a man loses his sense of purpose and direction, families and eventually society begin to suffer.

The overall point of this post is to encourage our lovely ladies to appreciate and respect their men, regardless of income differences or educational exposure. Many men sacrificed and worked hard to help their wives become academically and professionally successful, only to later feel looked down upon by the very women they supported.

At the same time, this is also a wake-up call to men who have stopped developing themselves simply because they have hardworking wives. Remember, she is still a woman, and there is only so much stress she can endure. She still wants to be loved, cherished, appreciated, and emotionally supported by her man. Do not make the mistake of assuming that because she works hard, she no longer desires affection and care.

Finally, men and women no longer live together merely for survival as was common in olden times. Today, the foundation of many relationships is happiness, intimacy, companionship, and passion. These qualities go far beyond physical intimacy; they are rooted in kindness, consideration, emotional presence, active listening, and purposeful living.

Men, stop defining your manhood solely by what you do or provide. Rules alone do not make you a man, and you do not need a wife to validate your masculinity.

You are a man regardless of your status, as long as you live purposefully.

I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

You Are a Man Regardless of Your Financial Status

There is an obvious struggle today when it comes to the position of men in families and relationships. There has been a rise in domestic violence as some men attempt to exert authority in unhealthy ways within their homes and relationships. Today, we are going to examine what has led to increasing frustration among men in relationships and why many women keep asking their husbands to “be a man.”

The Traditional Man

First, let us look at the traditional man in older societies.

During the era of our grandparents and parents, the yardstick used to measure a man was his ability to provide, protect, and make decisions for the family. Women depended mainly on their husbands to make most family decisions. Their major roles were to care for the home, look after the children, and tend to their husbands’ needs.

During this time, men handled almost everything. A woman who lost her husband often had to seek protection from other men, or else she and her children would suffer greatly. The traditional man was seen as a strong and dominant figure whom everyone respected and behaved well around whenever he returned home.

Before anything reached the family, the father had already handled it.

Men at that time saw provision, protection, and responsibility as the primary roles of a man, while women were expected mainly to obey and support the man’s decisions. Even in rare situations or cultures where women ruled as queens, men were still considered the pillars that protected the kingdom.

The Shift

The change began when men went to war and industries previously managed by men were successfully run by women. In some cultures where women were once forbidden from attending school, some fathers began educating their daughters.

Stories were told that only lazy men who could not farm or hunt were sent to school—meaning such men were once placed in the same category as women. However, society evolved.

The creation of police forces, laws, and basic human rights made it possible for everyone to access quality education regardless of gender. Acquiring education created opportunities for decent jobs, awareness of personal rights, and the confidence to fight for those rights.

Society and the Confusion

Society unintentionally created systems and laws that reduced many of the traditional roles men once held.

In the past, men were seen as protectors, but now the police, military, and security agencies perform those duties more effectively. Men were once expected to be the sole providers, but today many women have jobs and careers before they even get married. Women are now educated, financially independent, and capable of making decisions for themselves.

The confusion began because many men were not prepared for this transition, and the changes came without clear guidance on how men should adapt and grow within the new system.

The men who struggle the most are those who tie their worth and manhood solely to their roles, wealth, or social status. They are still operating with an old mentality in a new world.

Today, many men struggle to command the respect of women in the same way previous generations did. Likewise, when a woman becomes successful, she may also struggle in relationships because many men judge themselves based on their financial status and conclude that they are not in her league.

The Solution: What You Need to Know as a Man

It is important to understand that the roles of protection, provision, procreation, and logical reasoning alone do not make you a man. They may make you male, but they do not define true manhood.

Also, instructing a woman to obey you does not automatically give you authority over her. The world has changed, and many traditional roles can now be performed by anyone.

What truly differentiates a man from merely being male is purpose.

Find your purpose. Prioritize your vision and life mission. A woman who believes in your vision will naturally remain loyal and emotionally connected to you.

What a real man brings into a family is not just money, but substance: protection, emotional security, leadership, discipline, and principles.

It does not matter if your wife becomes the president or earns more money than you. What matters most is that you are pursuing a meaningful purpose that attracted her to you in the first place.

In Summary

Do not lower your standards simply because your financial status does not yet match your expectations for a wife. Instead, improve yourself by developing your vision, purpose, and character.

The woman who sees your value, principles, and sense of purpose will feel emotionally secure with you. Anyone who constantly competes with you in unhealthy ways may simply not be meant for you.

Almost everything a male traditionally did can now be replaced or assisted by modern systems and technology—even conception and intercourse are increasingly influenced by science and machines. However, the one thing that can never be replaced is your sense of purpose, vision, and identity.

Be a man.

I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi

In Time to Come

When I reflect on how we are moving as a people, accepting new ideas, cultures, and modernization without critical evaluation, I become deeply concerned.

In many advanced nations, care homes are very common. They were originally created for elderly people or those facing mental health challenges. However, over time, what was meant to support families in caring for their loved ones has, in some cases, become a matter of convenience.

As I have always maintained, an act in itself is not usually detrimental; it becomes so depending on who is in charge and the intentions behind it.

Today, many young ladies openly say they do not want their mothers-in-law living with them and would rather place them in care homes. Whether this is a good decision or not depends largely on the motivation behind it.

Nevertheless, care homes were primarily created for people who are unable to carry out activities of daily living or those who require specialist care.

Sadly, we are gradually moving away from the moral fulfillment that comes from looking after our elderly loved ones. I often reflect on how it must feel to leave your home, relatives, friends, children, and grandchildren to move into a care home. Imagine the loneliness and anxiety such a transition may bring.

In the past, old age was seen as a blessing that people looked forward to. Today, however, the thought of growing old creates anxiety for many. A person’s importance and relevance now seem tied to their ability to provide. Once they become weak or dependent, many want them moved away into solitude.

There is no doubt that care homes are important, but I worry about our people because of the lack of proper regulations, the vindictive attitudes of some daughters-in-law, and the negative perception society now holds toward old people.

One of the reasons people marry is for companionship and support in old age. Unfortunately, many marriages today do not last, leaving behind lonely elderly people with little support.

It is therefore important that we all sit down and reflect on what we are doing today. Some of the systems and facilities being introduced are meant to assist us, not make us emotionally and morally redundant.

I will conclude with this: while modernization and new ideas are good, we must not forget our moral obligation to care for our loved ones and only seek outside help when it becomes truly necessary.

Old age should never be seen as a burden. Every young person should strive to plan their later years wisely. Find something meaningful to keep you active and fulfilled, even after retirement.

Finally, family is power. Do not allow the pressures and commercialization of the modern world to make you abandon the parents who never abandoned you as a child, leaving them to die lonely and far away from home.

I am not condemning care homes. What I am saying is that they should be a last resort, not the first option simply because elderly parents are seen as an inconvenience.

Take care of your parents. Be there for them. Take their grandchildren to visit them and make their final years memorable. That is all I am saying because, in time to come, you too may find yourself in the same position.

Our people say that when a goat chews its cud, the young one watches and learns. When you take care of your parents, your children will learn from you and, in turn, take care of you.

I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

Who Will Cry When You Die?

The fall of a yellow leaf is a warning to the green ones. Truth is always in plain sight, yet many people remain unaware of it.

Over time, we have seen and heard of people we know passing on to the next life. Somehow, the cause of their death often gives people a strange sense of comfort instead of deep reflection. Thanks to the ego’s defense mechanism of denial, many convince themselves that such a fate is “not their portion.”

In this era of social media and publicity, it has become difficult to know who genuinely cares for us. We often mistake fans for friends, altering our values to meet the standards of people we know nothing about simply because we want fame, validation, or financial success. On the other hand, some people have built communities based on ideology, passion, and principles.

So, if one day you cease to breathe, who will truly cry for you?

As you reflect on this question, ask yourself: What am I doing to keep those people close and cherish every moment with them?

Often, we only appreciate people after they are gone — our parents, siblings, friends, and even our favorite superstars. There is a popular Igbo song that says:

“I mara ihe ga emere m na nwuo, mere m ya na ndu, nwanne m, nwee ekene ka m kene.”

Meaning: If you know what you would give me or say about me when I am gone, do it now while I am alive so I can appreciate it.

It is a call for appreciation, love, and recognition while people are still alive.

What Is Your Purpose and Priority in Life?

As you delay showing appreciation or only speak well of people in their absence, have you ever wondered: What if you did not wake up from your sleep today?

This question is not meant to scare you, but to help you set your priorities right. Everyone has their appointed time and season, but the quality of your life depends greatly on how well you manage your time.

Have you found your purpose in life? Are you making an impact, even in your own little way?

There are two types of local palm wine often used to illustrate the importance of being intentional about life’s purpose.

One is called Ngwo Palmwine. It rushes quickly and fills the keg fast, but its lifespan is short and so is its quality.

The other is Nkwu Palmwine. It trickles one drop at a time, requiring patience and endurance. However, once obtained, it is more valuable, lasts longer, and has the highest quality.

Therefore, stay true to your nature. If you are Ngwo, do not compare yourself to Nkwu. In the end, quality will always be chosen over quantity.

Prioritize your life according to your purpose and work on it daily and consistently, for no one truly knows their last goodbye.

What’s the Point After All?

Some may wonder: What is the point, since everyone will eventually die someday?

There is an Igbo saying that one should not avoid war simply because death is possible, because a coward fails to understand that there is value in battle.

A land without value attracts no contenders.

My point is this: we were not created to remain in one state forever, but to transform from one level to another. Death is not the end of life, but the cessation of the physical and biological aspects of it.

Therefore, our mission is to manifest the potentials placed within us through this physical body for the benefit of humanity and the glory of the Almighty.

Additionally, it is not how long you live that matters, but how impactful and fulfilled your life was while you lived it. Many people reject family, keep malice, and create enemies, forgetting that one day both they and their so-called enemies will cease to exist.

It is my sincere intention to urge you to reflect on how you are living today — the choices you make, the decisions you take, and the circles you build.

Most importantly, enjoy every moment with your family, wife, husband, children, and friends. Call your parents. Appreciate people. Respect people. Everyone is simply a memory waiting to manifest.

Let your actions make people better. Live in such a way that you remain in the hearts of many. Create value. Solve problems. Enjoy every day you wake up.

Remember: when you cry for someone, you are also crying for yourself, because they have experienced what you are yet to experience.

So live while you are alive, because you are not here forever.

I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi

THE FAMILY VALUES WE MUST NOT LOSE

There is no person more dangerous than someone who expects to live a life they were unable to build for themselves. Such people expect others to meet standards they themselves could not meet.

Once you are in the same space with them, you begin to notice a mindset driven by grandiosity and distorted perceptions, often rooted in a sense of lack. In such situations, you become merely a means to an end for their preconceived intentions.

Recently, I watched a podcast where people discussed gender roles in relation to family, relationships, and marriage. Listening to the conversation, one could only wonder what kind of society we are gradually drifting into with all these conflicts of interest in relationships today.

Now, some people demand “payment” for conceiving and bearing children, simply because they believe children belong only to the husband. Just imagine such a thought process. Is it not troubling that someone would emotionally distance themselves from their own family?

What could be more disturbing than a mother seeing her husband and children as separate entities from herself and proudly expressing such ideas on social media?

I am not against appreciating one’s partner. However, I am against entitlement and the false perception of being separate from your family.

There is nothing wrong with desiring a better life for oneself. The problem begins when people fail to appreciate that someone is giving them opportunities or support they could not provide for themselves. In many cases, it is this sense of entitlement and the belief that privilege is a right that creates the internal and external conflicts we see in relationships today.

Sadly, it is becoming increasingly common among African men and women to tear each other down publicly. We are gradually operating like people without culture or tradition.

Some women want a traditional African man who provides and cares for the family, yet reject the important role African mothers traditionally played in holding the family together. They want to work and earn money, which is good, but some also believe their income should never contribute to the family because “the man is meant to provide.”

The truth is that many people on social media who claim to teach others about relationships are speaking from places of pain and personal hurt rather than from wisdom, culture, or balanced understanding. Today, people discuss marriage and relationships based only on feelings, rights, and social trends while neglecting cultural values and even spiritual principles.

Some time ago, I spoke about emotional detachment and bias, where I highlighted the importance of building your immediate family without neglecting where you come from.

I want to say this clearly: once the meaning of family, marriage, and relationships is destroyed, society itself will begin to collapse.

Many people think the growing fear of commitment among responsible men and women does not concern them, until their own children grow up in a society filled with broken homes and emotionally wounded people raised by broken parents.

This is not an attempt to blame anyone. Rather, it is a plea for people to seek professional help when they are hurt instead of constantly attacking one another.

As a woman, a man who truly cares for and values you will teach you, guide you, listen to you, and stand by you willingly. It is a mistake to believe that constant drama or emotional instability will make a man stay loyal or committed. Everyone, especially men, needs peace of mind.

As a woman, you have the ability to create peace and emotional safety in your home. You may not always know how to love perfectly, but you can create an environment where your man feels safe enough to think, grow, and build.

Reinvent yourself. Build values. Be careful who you listen to. The painful truth is that many people who constantly speak about independence and rights often end up lonely because they neglect the importance of emotional connection, understanding, and family.

And to the men: let us value and protect our women. We owe it to our children and families to be responsible and productive. Most importantly, learn to choose what you need over what you merely want when selecting a wife and mother for your children.

My submission, therefore, is that we should return to our traditional family values while also embracing the good values from other cultures. However, we must eliminate the mentality that everything foreign is automatically superior or authentic.

Many people grow old lonely and full of regret because of poor choices they made when they were younger. As our people wisely say, “It is the firewood you gather during the dry season that will sustain you during the rainy season.”

Finally, to those who have genuinely been good to their partners and children yet received hurt, insults, blame, and rejection in return, keep your head up. Remember, it is often worse for those who lack self-love and appreciation for others.

Move on and find happiness, because we all deserve to love and be loved. However, let us build relationships intentionally and remain true to the values we desired before entering them.

Whatever you expect from another person, strive to offer it yourself.

Stop the entitlement mentality. Invest in yourself. Build a family you will be proud of, and do it with a committed partner. Refuse to be swayed by the false narratives surrounding unhealthy independence and selfish freedom.

I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi