How Good Is Your Sacrifice?

There is no doubt that it is easier to think positively, remain optimistic, and be hopeful about life and the future. However, it is also true that we can become pessimistic and lost in thought when everything is not going according to plan.

Nevertheless, the advice has always been to pick yourself up and keep moving. This advice often comes from people who have no idea how painful the experience was or the consequences of continuing. It is at this point that some people choose to appear strong in order to preserve whatever dignity they have left.

One thing is clear: every experience is individualised, and the pain is directly proportional to the expected outcome that never came to be.

The question, therefore, is: should we give up when things don’t go as planned?

The answer is a capital NO!

What, then, should we do?

Apart from asking this question, another important question you should ask when faced with difficult challenges is: How good was my sacrifice?

I will start with the second question and explain the need for us to be intentional when embarking on a project. I will explain this using a parent’s love for their children and family.

Parents spend all their savings on their children. Mothers give up sleep to sing at night, while fathers work late nights to ensure that the household remains intact. Both parents are doing all these things—making these sacrifices—because they love their children and want them to become better members of society.

Apart from looking at the physical contributions they are making for their family, I want you to take a moment to look at their mindset.

It is their mindset that qualifies their sacrifices. It is the same mindset that separated Abel’s sacrifice from Cain’s.

Their mindset is filled with hope, faith, discipline, conscious decisions, and self-denial because they believe that what is yet to come is worth the sacrifices they are making.

Another practical example is someone who wants to learn a skill, graduate with a first-class degree, or start a business. He or she devotes time, effort, self-denial, and other resources simply because they believe in what is yet to come.

So, the question in your mind may be: What happens after spending so much on your children and they end up becoming bad or unappreciative? What happens after sacrificing your time, energy, and resources towards a particular goal, only for it to turn out negatively?

My solution is for you to H.U.G yourself and continue.
H-Honest assessment.
U-Understand the situation.
G-Get up and keep going.

That is, instead of giving up, complete an honest assessment of the situation:

Did I do my best at the time?
Is there something I can learn from this?
And most importantly, what else can I do at this moment?

Secondly, understand that it is not your fault. Separate the situation from yourself. It is the business or programme that didn’t work out, not you. Therefore, it is your duty to understand why it didn’t work out and correct it.

The understanding that you are separate from whatever you accomplish or fail to accomplish will always allow you to figure out solutions to every problem.

Finally, get up and keep moving.

Our people have a saying that the chimpazee might be delayed by a trap, however he must get home. (Mkpakara ga ama ozo ma ozo ga ana).

Overall, as you sacrifice for anything, make sure your mindset is built not just on gains or profits, but also on faith, love, trust, and courage—the belief that whatever you are sacrificing for will be worth more than what you already have.

If being awake now will mean you will have a good old age and beautiful grandchildren, then why are you oversleeping?

If putting money aside means you will defeat poverty in the generations to come, why are you eating away your future?

Whatever you are doing, ensure that it is worth it. And when things don’t go the way you planned, don’t kill yourself or beat yourself up too much. Instead, HUG yourself and keep moving.

Finally, do the thing you fear and keep on doing it. That is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear—Dale Carnegie.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi

Like, comment, and share with someone who needs to HUG his or herself.

Never give up; it can only get better.

Ubiquitous Assimilation

Learning the Art of Questioning Information

Our people have a saying: “He who always asks questions does not lose his way.” Over the years, experience has shown that those who ask questions—questions that others may sometimes laugh at in class—often develop a deeper understanding than those who simply accept information without critical examination.

I remember when we used to copy notes as our teacher wrote them on the board. Whenever we started talking or making noise, the teacher would intentionally make a mistake. Those who were paying attention as they wrote would quickly spot the error and raise their hands to draw the teacher’s attention to it. Meanwhile, those who were chatting would ask, “Where is the mistake?” or, “Oh, please, do you have correction fluid?” In some cases, the mistake was so significant that we had to start on a new page.

The lesson from those experiences remains relevant today. In this age and time, it is important that we do not simply exist, consume information, or accept ideas without proper examination.

Algorithms, for example, can serve as a reflection of our interests. They continually bring us more of the kind of content we consume, reminding us that what we repeatedly think about and consume can gradually influence who we become.

When writing an essay, you can easily correct a mistake when you discover that you have written or copied something incorrectly. Life, however, is different. Some decisions cannot be erased so easily. Often, we have to live with the consequences of the choices we make.

Before you forget, remember that you are a spirit existing in a body and possessing a soul. You should therefore value yourself and develop principles that can guide the way you live.

There are many advisers, influencers, commentators, and voices competing for our attention. Some can offer valuable guidance, while others may unintentionally—or deliberately—lead people in directions that do not serve their best interests. This is why it is important to have convictions of your own.

Question things, my friend, and examine them against your values. You must stand for something, and your life should be lived with thoughtful and critical examination.

There is a popular philosophical saying that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” Whether it concerns health, relationships, finances, religion, or lifestyle, develop the habit of asking questions before making important decisions.

Before you buy those pills online, for example, ask how credible the seller is, what evidence supports the claims being made, and whether the product is appropriate for you. Understand the difference between a product being marketed to you and something that is genuinely beneficial to your health.

Relationship counsellors, religious leaders, influencers, and many other voices have become part of our everyday lives. Some provide genuine wisdom, while others may promote ideas that deserve closer examination. The responsibility ultimately remains with each of us to think carefully and make informed decisions.

The whole essence of this message is to encourage you to recognise that the world is changing. Start now to think about how you will navigate these changes without losing your values, principles, and sense of responsibility.

When you are young, you may feel that you do not need family or children. That may be how you feel at this stage of life, but it is also important to think about the future and the kind of life you hope to have in your later years. Whatever choices you make, make them consciously and with an understanding of their long-term implications.

We are also surrounded by advertisements and messages encouraging us to use all kinds of substances and products. In places where healthcare resources and emergency services may not always be readily available, it is especially important to exercise caution and seek reliable professional advice before making decisions about our health.

The same applies to skincare and other appearance-related products. There is nothing wrong with caring for our appearance, but we should not allow the emphasis on exterior appearance to overshadow the development of character, integrity, responsibility, and good values.

In summary, information is power, but only when it is properly understood and wisely applied. We must therefore be careful about the kind of information we take in.

The habit of absorbing information from everywhere without critically examining it, questioning its source, and considering its relevance and consequences in our lives is what I call “ubiquitous assimilation.”

It is therefore important to question the choices presented to you and take responsibility for your own life. Things are not always what they appear to be, and learning to look beyond the surface can protect us from many avoidable mistakes.

There are many forces in the modern world influencing how we think about humanity, family, relationships, health, and procreation. Rather than accepting every narrative uncritically, examine these ideas for yourself. Do not allow yourself to be carried along by an agenda simply because it is popular or widely promoted.

Always ask: “What does this mean for me? What are the benefits, the risks, and the long-term consequences?”

And remember that people who sell products and services are often operating businesses. This does not automatically make their products or intentions bad, but it does mean that we should distinguish between commercial interests and genuinely independent, evidence-based advice. Where health is concerned, we should seek appropriate professional guidance and support efforts toward effective and, where possible, genuinely curative approaches.

Overall, avoid shortcuts when something requires patience, discipline, learning, or a proper process. Be thoughtful about the choices you make, remain open to learning, and do not be afraid to question information—even when everyone around you appears to accept it.

Continue to build meaningful relationships, nurture family and community, plan for your future, and pursue a life of purpose and happiness. Most importantly, live consciously, hold on to your values, and give yourself permission to ask questions.

I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

The Culture of Convenience

Igbo people have a saying that when a sacrilege is allowed to endure for too long, children eventually mistake it for culture.

Have you not noticed how the culture of convenience is gradually eating us all away?

The idea of replacing hard work with smart work is increasingly being confused with a total loss of self-discipline and an addiction to convenience.

Take, for instance, the argument that the increase in sexually transmitted infections is partly a result of population growth and greater exposure to immoral acts due to the availability of modern technology. In part, this may be true. However, what is often overlooked is the emphasis being placed on the use of contraceptives and birth control rather than on the importance of developing self-control and embracing communal values.

There is literally an addiction to everything now: addiction to ultra-processed foods, alcohol, lifestyles, and ridiculous fantasies that are allowed to prevail under the fancy name of “freedom to choose.”

The original intention behind birth control was to allow couples to limit the number of children they wished to have.

Today, women depend on apps even to understand their body changes and cycles. At first, this may have made things easier, but what it has gradually replaced in the new generation is the need for people to understand, study, and master their own bodies.

The painful part is that this has trickled down to teenagers, some of whom are simply waiting to turn 18 so they can have contraceptive devices inserted and then “fire on.”

I know there are exceptions, but my point is this: it is high time we concentrated on building character and values such as self-control and fidelity. Parents should start setting good examples for their children.

Poor choices are now being condoned. People have four or five children with different partners. How then can they teach a child how to make simple life choices when it is clear that they do not even know what they want?

Cheating is being rebranded and given all sorts of names, to the point where someone can justify cheating on their partner because the partner did not compliment their new hairstyle.

The culture of good shame—that sense of accountability that once encouraged people to be civil and responsible—has gone out of the window because everyone wants the easy life, even when it ultimately leads to regret.

My dear friends, this culture of convenience that is being sold to you may be one of the reasons so many people will become sick in the nearest future.

Instead of keeping fit, people are looking for pills that will shed their weight while they sleep, or pills that will supposedly turn them into supermen or superwomen for their partners.

People are encouraged to harvest and store their eggs, then “flex” and come back later to fertilise them. Life of convenience. But have you ever stopped to consider the price?

The danger of this culture of convenience that everyone is embracing is that it is silent. It penetrates, influences you, and eventually allows you to self-destruct.

Bear in mind that all these convenient tools are not necessarily the problem. The real issue is how we use them and the values we gradually lose when we excuse everything in the name of convenience.

Humans are the only animals that use man-made tools for self-satisfaction while sometimes fighting against the very nature and purpose for which we were created.

There are toys for men and women now. For what reason exactly, if not to promote independence from one another and dependence on artificial forms of passion?

The funny thing is that even in that state of illusion, you still imagine a human being. So why not work on your character and learn how to accommodate and live with other people?

I can go on and on about how the culture of convenience is making money for businesses while gradually leading humanity in the wrong direction.

There is an ongoing conversation about the chemical sterilisation of sex offenders. You can argue that they deserve it, but how are we going to control the proliferation of such acts?

What about going back to teaching morals and values instead of creating more means of sustaining such behaviour?

Prior to now, when people cried, you reminded them of what they had accomplished to cheer them up. Now, if you cry, you are either given a handkerchief or tissue. What that solves, I don’t know.

I believe that, at this point, you must have understood how the culture of convenience is eating people alive—just like the goose that is happy that she is oozing oil, not knowing that she is being roasted.

Our people said it is necessary sometimes to use our tongues to count our teeth, for the head that attracts the bees must live to their stings.

Family, children, and community are still the best. Be wise, and make sure you leave your seed on earth before you depart.

Overall, convenience and an easy life can become a trap that we must intentionally avoid.

Eat healthy. Exercise. Sleep. Read. And above all, question everything against the values you hold dear.

We are at war, and only self-awareness and values will win. Do not forget to leave a positive mark on earth, because we are not here forever.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

When Faith Divides, Brotherhood Must Unite.

Onwuatuegwu was a man feared by both the living and the dead—or so his kinsmen believed. Standing over seven feet tall, broad-shouldered, with a face that revealed little of his emotions, his mere presence commanded respect.

A renowned native doctor and herbalist, he had four wives and twelve children. He ensured that every one of them, both male and female, received a formal education. At the same time, as a custodian of his people’s traditions, he made sure they all underwent the customary initiation rites of their land, especially the boys.

Yet one thing distinguished Onwuatuegwu from many others. He never forced his children to become traditionalists. Instead, he gave each of them the freedom to choose their own faith. His only instruction was simple: never abandon the values, morals, and cultural heritage of your people.

As a result, his household became a reflection of diversity. Among his children were Christians, Muslims, traditional worshippers, and even a few who belonged to no particular faith.

Then one day, tragedy struck.

News spread across the village that the priest had been kidnapped while returning from a church vigil. Panic and sorrow gripped the community. The congregation immediately began another vigil, fasting and praying for the safe return of the priest and the other captives.

Ordinarily, Onwuatuegwu might have remained uninvolved. But this time, one of the kidnapped worshippers was his own son, Obumneme—known in church as Peter.

The entire village was thrown into mourning. While many wept, a few secretly took comfort in the fact that Peter was among the captives. They believed that Onwuatuegwu would stop at nothing to rescue his son—and, by extension, everyone else.

Soon, the war gong echoed across the village.

Kpom… tikpo… kpom… kpom… tikpom…

Able-bodied men gathered in the village square to discuss how to rescue the priest and the rest of the congregation.

One man, Akuebue, suggested they should simply continue praying at the vigil.

Before he could finish, Ikeonu interrupted.

“Aku, please keep quiet if you have nothing meaningful to say. Wasn’t it during a vigil that they were taken?”

As the arguments continued, Onwuatuegwu slowly rose to his feet.

“I need ten men,” he said calmly. “Ten brave men who will follow me into the forest alongside the security operatives.”

More than ten men volunteered, but only ten were chosen.

Onwuatuegwu disappeared briefly into his shrine. When he returned, he brought out ten pieces of cooked yam and handed one to each man. They ate without asking questions.

In the next moment, they found themselves deep inside the forest, confronting the kidnappers. Together, they overpowered the enemies, rescued every captive, and returned home in triumph.

The village erupted in celebration. Songs filled the air as people danced and hailed Onwuatuegwu as a hero.

Just as he joined in the celebration, dancing with joy…

His wife shook him awake.

He opened his eyes, looked around, sighed deeply, and whispered,

“So… it was all a dream?”

Disturbed by the vision, he entered his Ulo Afa to seek its meaning.

There, the gods revealed the message behind the dream:

Religion should never make us forget that we are brothers. Rather than divide us, it should unite us.

They further warned him to ensure that the villagers and the entire community learned to respect and protect one another, regardless of their different beliefs.

For to the enemy, they were not Christians, Muslims, or traditional worshippers.

They were simply one people.

Onye nwere nti, ya nuru.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

What Kind of Person Are You?

The death of Caesar could not have been as painful if he had been murdered only by his enemies. He was truly broken when he saw that Brutus was among those stabbing him. At that point, the pain was no longer physical—it had become psychological and emotional.

The recent killing of a UniJos student over the alleged theft of a phone, which was later found days after he had passed away, is yet another painful reminder that wickedness and a lack of compassion still exist among us.

The question—and the advice—on everyone’s lips has been to be mindful of our friends and the company we keep. While that is necessary, I personally believe the problems we face today have more to do with what I call suppression syndrome.

This is a situation where, as a people, we have been subjected to poverty and intentional hardship, while the very people responsible for our suffering remain the ones many look up to as role models. Everyone internalises his or her pain with the hope that one day things will get better. The issue is not having hope or faith in oneself; rather, it is the lack of awareness of the pain we suppress in order to keep that hope alive. Often, we do not realise how much pain we carry until something threatens or appears to stand in the way of what we hope to achieve. That is when the beast within emerges.

If this were not true, tell me: how were the senators able to convince Brutus to turn against Caesar? What could make friends forget the character of their classmate and resort to violence instead of seeking other ways to resolve an allegation of theft? Those unresolved pains, born out of intentional hardship, are among the major causes of the sacrilegious acts we witness across our nation today.

The interesting thing is that suppression syndrome also affects how we relate to one another in our everyday lives. For instance, some people feel smart or clever because they have cheated or deceived someone, whereas in many other nations, the vulnerable are protected.

A good example is the recent news from Japan, where after a toll gate was repaired, more than 20,000 motorists voluntarily contacted the operators to pay their outstanding tolls. The key point is that they did so willingly because they believe in the system, they trust the system, and they value both themselves and others.

My point is that the current situation in Nigeria has made many people focus more on the outcome than on the process. As long as the outcome appears good, people assume the process must have been legitimate. Every now and then, people are caught with human body parts. They are beaten or jailed without any effort to investigate those who finance or profit from these crimes. Many families are in agony. Some parents are childless, not because they never had children, but because their country has failed them.

Perhaps the most heartbreaking consequence of this situation is the growing devaluation of human life. There is now an overwhelming urge to prove that we are not suffering, leading to increasing materialism at all costs—even when it involves taking another person’s life.

Nevertheless, in this clouded horizon of hopelessness in which we find ourselves, it is important to remember that no matter how difficult or frustrating life becomes, you should never be quick to take another person’s life.

The displacement of anger and punishment should not be directed at those whose coping mechanisms have failed them. I am referring to those who wrong you on the street or steal from you. Rather, our collective anger should be directed towards those who continue to hoard our common wealth for themselves while leaving millions in hardship.

I am not making excuses for criminals. What I am saying is that even when you realise someone has wronged you by stealing from you, your default response should never be to take that person’s life—except, of course, where your own life is under immediate threat.

I sincerely believe that, at this critical moment in our nation’s history, what will help all of us overcome these challenges is love and compassion. We need empathy for those in desperate need of help, compassion for those who have suffered loss, and genuine love for ourselves and for one another. Many families are hurting. Imagine the parents of the UniJos student, the family of the beheaded teacher, the children trapped in kidnappers’ dens, and the countless others whose whereabouts remain unknown to this day.

It is imperative that we become the opposite of what our oppressors want us to become. We must be our brother’s keeper, because the true test of a person’s character is revealed in times like these—when everything seems uncertain, hope appears lost, and hardship is accepted as a way of life. This is the time to define yourself by your morals and values. Be a protector of the vulnerable, not a predator.

There is no doubt that it is difficult to maintain one’s morals in our present circumstances. Even so, by all means, choose what is right. Be safe, and keep others safe as well.

No amount of money is equal to a human life. Speak up when you need help. Do not suppress your pain. And remember that love, compassion, and empathy remain powerful enough to carry us through these difficult times.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

Good Intentions Are Not Always Good Outcomes: A Lesson on Avoiding Unintentional Harm.

There are three aspects of our existence I want to draw your attention to: behaviour, identity, and intention.

Many times, we are unaware of how our well-intended actions negatively affect others. We may mean well, but our behaviour can still cause harm if it does not align with the needs or expectations of the person receiving it.

Let me illustrate this with a short story.

A 98-year-old woman was receiving treatment in the hospital for a chronic illness. She was under palliative care and had come to terms with the fact that she was approaching the end of her life. Most of the people she had grown up with—including her siblings and close friends—had already passed away. She had lived a full life and felt at peace with her journey.

One day, as a deeply religious nurse attended to her, the woman said, “I can’t wait to die and join my friends over there.”

Without hesitation, the nurse replied, “God forbid! You will not die. You will live to enjoy the fruit of your labour.”

Instead of being comforted, the elderly woman became confused and upset. She later reported the nurse to her supervisor, saying the nurse had given her false hope and wished for her to remain bedridden in this world.

Now ask yourself: Was the nurse’s intention bad? Obviously not.

Did her response benefit the patient? Unfortunately, no.

This story teaches us an important lesson: whether a behaviour is perceived as good or bad does not depend solely on the intention behind it. It also depends on how the recipient experiences it.

Here is another example.

A young boy was constantly mocked by his playmates because he had only one eye. They nicknamed him “Emma Otu Anya” (Emma One Eye).

One day, he asked his mother, “Mummy, what happened to my eye?”

His mother explained that when he was a toddler, he had been playing with a kitchen knife and accidentally injured himself.

The boy then asked, “Why didn’t you take the knife away from me?”

His mother replied, “You were crying and throwing tantrums.”

The child looked at her and asked, “Would I still be crying till today?”

His mother’s eyes filled with tears as she apologised, overwhelmed with regret.

Sometimes, our desire to avoid a child’s temporary discomfort can lead to lifelong consequences. Good intentions alone are not always enough.

Our behaviour is one of the strongest forms of communication. Yet many of us assume that because we have good intentions or see ourselves as good people, our actions must automatically be right.

The truth is this: people experience your behaviour first. Your intentions and your identity are known mainly to you. Others judge what you do, not necessarily why you do it.

That is why it is important to ensure your behaviour reflects your values and intentions as clearly as possible.

Understanding this principle also helps you know when to react and when to respond. It enables you to respect other people’s choices, decisions, and perspectives, even when they seem unwise from your point of view.

Consider another example.

A man was advised to stop smoking and drinking alcohol. His response was, “What is the gain in dying with healthy lungs and a healthy liver?”

The goal should not be to force him to change. Rather, it is to ensure he understands the consequences of his choices. Once people have accurate information, they can make informed decisions. If they are genuinely struggling, you can then offer meaningful support instead of imposing your own expectations.

Ultimately, it is important to build a healthy relationship with yourself. Ensure that your identity, intentions, and behaviour are aligned. At the same time, recognise that people may want something different from what you have to offer—and that deserves respect.

So before offering advice or support, first make sure it aligns with what the other person actually needs.

The easiest way to do this is by asking:

“How can I best support you?”

You may be surprised by the answers.

Sometimes people simply say:

  • “Just stay with me.”
  • “Hold my hand.”
  • “Just listen to me.”
  • Or, in our Nigerian way, “Make I drop aza.” 😊

Not everyone needs advice. Sometimes they simply need your presence.

The only time you have a greater responsibility to make certain decisions on behalf of another person is when raising young children, especially toddlers who have not yet developed the capacity to understand consequences or communicate their needs effectively.

As children grow, nurture their imagination instead of sowing seeds of doubt. The preschool child who dreams of building heaven on earth does not need ridicule—they need guidance.

Listen to yourself, but also listen carefully to others. Ask questions. Find out what they truly need from you. If you can help, do so in a way that meets their need—not merely your intention.

Have you ever done something you believed was kind or helpful, only to be blamed or misunderstood for it?

If yes, how did you handle it?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please share your experience in the comments.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi

Learn to Say NO More Often

“He who fetches ant-infested firewood invites lizards to a feast,” says an Igbo proverb. Another says that a man who does not know how a corpse was buried digs it up from the legs.

Take a look at this short story.

There was a time when we used to fetch water from a particular stream in Nike, Enugu. Whenever you visited this stream between 11:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m., it was usually quiet and still, almost as if it was not flowing. At that time, you could literally see the beautiful stones beneath because the water was not deep. That was how clean the stream always was.

However, once people started arriving in large numbers, by 6:00 p.m. the water had changed to an almost brown colour. Those who fetched water first enjoyed clean water, unlike those who came later. It became even worse whenever children decided to play or swim in it, especially during the holidays.

Can we then say that the stream is dirty? Or would it be more accurate to say that because no one directs people on how to keep it clean, it eventually becomes polluted?

The stream in this story represents your mind, where your thoughts originate. Thoughts of both good and evil pass through your mind, and the number of people and things you allow to “swim” there determines how clean your mind remains after they leave.

It is very easy to get along with people if you continue to say “Yes” to everyone and everything. The truth is that yes is a positive response that most people want to hear, but no can also be positive, especially when it protects your safety and well-being. Ultimately, it depends on who benefits from your response.

As children, we were taught to respect our elders and maintain good moral conduct, which is commendable. However, what many of us fail to understand is that saying NO to things that do not align with our values and principles is also a sign of good moral character.

One thing saying NO does is reveal people’s true identity and intentions, especially if you have always been an “Oh yes” member.

Think about how many relationships or friendships you have lost simply because you decided to say NO to things that did not align with your values. Many times, we beg people to stay because we want to feel good, even when there is obvious misalignment of purpose and a lack of trust.

What is my point?

My point is this:

Take charge of your life. Constantly remind yourself that you are not here forever, and therefore you must make the best use of your time. There is no benefit in worrying about the opinions of people who do not know your purpose in life.

Stay focused on your purpose. Pay close attention to people’s behaviour, not just their words, because words mean nothing when they are not supported by actions.

Here are the most important aspects of your life that you should guard with all diligence:

Firstly, guard your mind, your money, and your mouth.

Be aware of your thoughts. Be mindful of what you say. Ensure that you use your resources for your own benefit and for the benefit of others.

Do not abandon yourself in the process of helping and assisting people.

Secondly, guard your time.

Time is constant; you are the one running against it. Be intentional about what—and who—you spend your time on.

Always ask yourself:

Is this worth my time? Can I sacrifice this time without compromising the purpose and plans I have for myself?

Be consistent, just like the clock that faithfully keeps time. Live your life intentionally.

The Bible says there is a time for everything, and a season for every purpose under heaven.

Thirdly, guard your attention.

Whatever you feed will grow. If you give more attention to things that drain you, or to people who distract and pollute your mind, you will eventually bear the consequences.

It is your duty and responsibility to direct your attention towards things that align with your vision and purpose.

Finally, guard your energy.

Everything in life requires energy. Some people attract good relationships but cannot sustain them because of negative energy. Others secure good jobs but cannot keep them because of the negative energy they bring into the workplace.

What kind of energy do you carry?

Is it revenge, unresolved trauma, jealousy, envy, lust, love, kindness, or genuine care?

Whichever it is, work every day to surround yourself with people whose energy sharpens you, gives you peace, helps you grow, and encourages you to become your best self.

By all means, avoid unnecessary arguments, constant comparison, and unrealistic expectations—they drain your energy.

In Summary

If you are like that calm, still, and clean stream with a consistent flow, protect your thoughts from people and things that would pollute them.

If, however, your stream is already filled with debris, seek help and release that burden. You deserve love and happiness, and sometimes they begin with an honest process of internal cleansing.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord…”

Let this be your watchword.

Learn to say NO, because it is one of the greatest shields that will help you conserve your energy, time, attention, and money. Only say YES to the things that uplift you and align with your purpose.

If you made it to this point, congratulations! 🎉

Which of these areas will you intentionally work on preserving more—your mind, time, attention, money, mouth, or energy?

Leave your answer in the comment section.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

Tell Onu Nwanne M That I Am Tired

It was a very hot afternoon when my father called me and gave me the heartbreaking news of Ifeanyi’s passing.

He was fondly called Odo Diele, a name that signifies the faithfulness of the Odo deity. According to family history, his father had longed for a son as his last child and promised the deity that if his wish came to pass, he would name the child after it.

So, Ifeanyichukwu was born, and true to his promise, his father named him Odo Diele—meaning the faithful Odo deity.

As a child, Ifeanyi was fun-loving, protective, and full of life. Whenever I visited Mbanito, our farming village, he would always save the head of the fish for me. It may sound like a small gesture today, but back then, the fish were usually very large, and every child cherished the fried fish head. As I write this, I can almost taste it again. Funny how memories can awaken even the senses.

Beyond his kindness, Ifeanyi loved to laugh. He was always cracking jokes, and his laughter was contagious. He was remarkably strong, wise beyond his years, and deeply caring.

Yet, beneath that cheerful spirit was a silent battle.

I grew up knowing him with a noticeably swollen stomach. Whenever the pain became unbearable, he would cry in agony. Looking back now, I believe it was what we would recognise today as ascites. He suffered immensely, but he fought bravely and somehow managed to keep smiling despite the pain.

Although he lived mostly in Mbanito with his father, he never failed to ask about me whenever anyone visited. I always asked about him too. We shared a bond that distance could never weaken.

Then his condition worsened.

He was taken from one hospital to another. Everyone tried their best. Traditional healers, herbalists, and medical professionals all did what they could. But some battles are fought beyond human strength.

One afternoon, I returned home from school just as my father had come back from Mbanito. I was excited because I knew Ifeanyi always had something waiting for me, even if it was uto (bush apple).

That day, there was no bush apple.

Instead, I received words that carried both the courage of a warrior and the helplessness of a child who desperately wanted to live.

Even in unbearable pain, he remembered me.

His final message was:

“Gwa Onu Nwanne m na ike agwomu.”

“Tell Onuora, my brother, that I am tired.”

At the time, I didn’t fully understand what those words meant.

As I grew older, I realised they were goodbye.

I would never hear his laughter again.

I would never receive another fish head from him.

I would never hear him sing again.

He was only 12 years old when he died.

More than twenty years have passed, yet his memory remains as vivid as ever. Time may soften grief, but it never erases love.

Whenever you come across this post, please say a prayer for Ifeanyi and for everyone who longed to live but was taken by circumstances beyond their control.

May the soul of Ifeanyi and the souls of all the faithful departed continue to rest in perfect peace.

Isee.

And while you still can, value the people around you. Create happiness wherever you find yourself, because none of us will be here forever.

I miss you, Ify, nwannem.

I miss you, Nazy Oyom.

I miss you, Anto.

I miss you, Faith Ya.

Jee nu nke ọma.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

The Joke Culture

There is growing awareness of what many now call the olodo culture—a culture that glorifies behaviour that lacks moral values. It is reflected in the excessive respect people have for money and those who possess it, as well as the attention given to activities that do not improve us but instead deepen ignorance.

Beyond the olodo culture, however, there is another challenge we must confront: the joke culture. This is the habit of reducing matters of national importance into mere entertainment and content for social media. There is an old saying that only a madman mistakes his phallus for a lizard and laughs while it clings to his body. The point is simple: not everything should be laughed away.

Recently, Nigeria’s First Lady made a statement encouraging people to start selling akara (bean cake balls). As usual, the familiar “chicken response syndrome” followed. While the statement itself sparked debate, what happened afterward was not only disappointing—it was predictable. We once again reduced a serious national conversation into jokes, memes, and viral content.

People created memes and skits, not necessarily as a form of protest or constructive criticism, but simply to “catch cruise.”

The unfortunate implication is that the average woman who depends on selling akara or similar businesses for survival is indirectly portrayed as foolish, helpless, or lacking ambition. Instead of feeling respected for engaging in honest work, the constant ridicule surrounding such businesses sends the opposite message.

Akara and kuli-kuli are legitimate businesses. Anyone involved in them should be proud of their work and aspire to grow and expand. Honest labour deserves dignity. However, we must also acknowledge that there is more to nation-building than constantly asking citizens to survive on the bare minimum while avoiding deeper conversations about economic opportunities and good governance.

Looking beyond our borders, the situation in South Africa offers an important lesson. While I do not support violence or the taking of innocent lives under any circumstance, one cannot ignore the level of patriotism demonstrated when people put aside ethnic and political differences to pursue what they believe is in the interest of their nation. Their methods may be wrong, but their sense of collective purpose is worth reflecting on.

Meanwhile, Nigerians remain deeply divided. We continue to tolerate insults, worship wealth regardless of how it is acquired, and somehow convince ourselves that we do not deserve better governance.

My question is this: At what point do we finally say, “Enough is enough”? What more are we waiting to witness before we become truly concerned and determined to reset our national priorities?

The truth is that no one can consistently look down on you without your permission. If citizens do not even understand what they deserve, how can they know what is worth fighting for?

I believe the olodo culture thrives because of the joke culture we have embraced. It seems the entire continent is expected only to dance, sing, and entertain. Is that all our culture represents? We proudly call ourselves the world’s entertainers, yet many of those paying for our entertainment cannot even dance themselves. And when I say “people,” I am not referring only to foreigners. Sadly, many of our own brothers and sisters are also complicit.

Ultimately, the solution to this confusion begins with each of us. We must first accept that we deserve more. We must read, think critically, hold leaders accountable, and vote wisely. It is good to be childlike in humility, but it is dangerous to remain childish in our thinking.

What is your take? Do you think we, as citizens, are complicit in sustaining the very system we complain about? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi

The fowl response pattern.

There is a pattern I call the fowl response pattern.

Whenever a kite snatches a chick from its mother, the hen cries, jumps around, and screams for help. After all the noise, she simply returns to the remaining chicks, almost as if she is waiting for the next attack.

The kite does not treat the duck the same way because the duck will pursue it. She does not wait or merely cry for help; she takes responsibility and fights to protect what she believes is right. The duck believes that no child is more important than another, and that her children should not become a meal for any kite.

Can you see this fowl response pattern in the way many Nigerians respond to unfavourable events? We lament, complain, and express our anger, but too often we stop there.

Recently, the First Lady, accompanied by other women, advised citizens to use government grants to start an akara business in the 21st century. What did many people do? They shouted, lamented, and exchanged insults. By the following month, many had moved on as though nothing had happened.

What struck me even more was that while the announcement was being made, many of the women present nodded in agreement. Ndi eri eri.

A community also recently experienced an attack from a thug well known in Osun State, resulting in the tragic death of a child. The people cried, mourned, and comforted the victim’s family, while the perpetrators continued to roam freely, like the kite waiting for its next chick.

Now, let’s bring this closer to home.

How do you respond to injustice? Do you remain silent, or do you address it wisely? Out of fear of losing relationships or opportunities, do you accept everything, even when it goes against your principles?

When people hurt you, do you spend all your energy crying for help, or do you develop a plan to ensure it does not happen again?

Sometimes, we view every form of force as wrong, even when it is used in lawful self-defence. I believe much of this confusion comes from understanding words in isolation instead of within their proper context.

If someone enters your home with the intention of harming you, should your response be to surrender in the name of being a good citizen or appearing non-violent?

Self-defence is not a crime. You should be able to protect your peace, your family, and your life.

On the other hand, there are times when walking away, creating distance, or improving your circumstances is the wiser solution. After all, not every problem is solved with force said a man when a mosquito perched on his balls.

My point is simple: instead of endless lamentation without meaningful action, we should focus on solutions. As citizens, that means holding leaders accountable through lawful civic participation—voting responsibly, protecting the integrity of our votes through legal means, and supporting those who are committed to positive change.

Likewise, in your personal life, strive to be someone who solves problems instead of merely complaining about them.

If it means taking the bull by the horns, do it—but always ensure that your actions are just, wise, and do not unnecessarily harm others.

Remember, insanity is repeating the same approach over and over while expecting different results.

In the game of chess, your primary responsibility is to protect your king—your life. If you play only defence, you will eventually lose. You must learn when to defend, when to adapt, and how to respond strategically to challenges.

At the end of the day, it is up to you how you choose to live your life: as a victim or a victor, as a complainer or a doer. Whatever you choose, always remember that no life is more important than another.

No one should remain in their own home feeling like a stranger, living in fear and abject poverty while others continue to exploit them.

Everything is about perspective. True strength and power come from being capable of confronting problems but choosing to act with wisdom, restraint, and purpose when necessary. A lion does not wait for permission to protect its territory; it observes, plans, and acts when the time is right.

Above all, be safe, be wise, and protect yourself and those entrusted to your care.

Do not give up on yourself because, if death does not befall the sacrificial yam, it will surely germinate.

(O buru na onwu egbughi ji eji choo aja, emesie o ga epu ome).

I sincerely believe that through a communal approach, mutual responsibility, and collective action, we will triumph over those who seek to keep us divided, fearful, and oppressed.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.