Good Intentions Are Not Always Good Outcomes: A Lesson on Avoiding Unintentional Harm.

There are three aspects of our existence I want to draw your attention to: behaviour, identity, and intention.

Many times, we are unaware of how our well-intended actions negatively affect others. We may mean well, but our behaviour can still cause harm if it does not align with the needs or expectations of the person receiving it.

Let me illustrate this with a short story.

A 98-year-old woman was receiving treatment in the hospital for a chronic illness. She was under palliative care and had come to terms with the fact that she was approaching the end of her life. Most of the people she had grown up with—including her siblings and close friends—had already passed away. She had lived a full life and felt at peace with her journey.

One day, as a deeply religious nurse attended to her, the woman said, “I can’t wait to die and join my friends over there.”

Without hesitation, the nurse replied, “God forbid! You will not die. You will live to enjoy the fruit of your labour.”

Instead of being comforted, the elderly woman became confused and upset. She later reported the nurse to her supervisor, saying the nurse had given her false hope and wished for her to remain bedridden in this world.

Now ask yourself: Was the nurse’s intention bad? Obviously not.

Did her response benefit the patient? Unfortunately, no.

This story teaches us an important lesson: whether a behaviour is perceived as good or bad does not depend solely on the intention behind it. It also depends on how the recipient experiences it.

Here is another example.

A young boy was constantly mocked by his playmates because he had only one eye. They nicknamed him “Emma Otu Anya” (Emma One Eye).

One day, he asked his mother, “Mummy, what happened to my eye?”

His mother explained that when he was a toddler, he had been playing with a kitchen knife and accidentally injured himself.

The boy then asked, “Why didn’t you take the knife away from me?”

His mother replied, “You were crying and throwing tantrums.”

The child looked at her and asked, “Would I still be crying till today?”

His mother’s eyes filled with tears as she apologised, overwhelmed with regret.

Sometimes, our desire to avoid a child’s temporary discomfort can lead to lifelong consequences. Good intentions alone are not always enough.

Our behaviour is one of the strongest forms of communication. Yet many of us assume that because we have good intentions or see ourselves as good people, our actions must automatically be right.

The truth is this: people experience your behaviour first. Your intentions and your identity are known mainly to you. Others judge what you do, not necessarily why you do it.

That is why it is important to ensure your behaviour reflects your values and intentions as clearly as possible.

Understanding this principle also helps you know when to react and when to respond. It enables you to respect other people’s choices, decisions, and perspectives, even when they seem unwise from your point of view.

Consider another example.

A man was advised to stop smoking and drinking alcohol. His response was, “What is the gain in dying with healthy lungs and a healthy liver?”

The goal should not be to force him to change. Rather, it is to ensure he understands the consequences of his choices. Once people have accurate information, they can make informed decisions. If they are genuinely struggling, you can then offer meaningful support instead of imposing your own expectations.

Ultimately, it is important to build a healthy relationship with yourself. Ensure that your identity, intentions, and behaviour are aligned. At the same time, recognise that people may want something different from what you have to offer—and that deserves respect.

So before offering advice or support, first make sure it aligns with what the other person actually needs.

The easiest way to do this is by asking:

“How can I best support you?”

You may be surprised by the answers.

Sometimes people simply say:

  • “Just stay with me.”
  • “Hold my hand.”
  • “Just listen to me.”
  • Or, in our Nigerian way, “Make I drop aza.” 😊

Not everyone needs advice. Sometimes they simply need your presence.

The only time you have a greater responsibility to make certain decisions on behalf of another person is when raising young children, especially toddlers who have not yet developed the capacity to understand consequences or communicate their needs effectively.

As children grow, nurture their imagination instead of sowing seeds of doubt. The preschool child who dreams of building heaven on earth does not need ridicule—they need guidance.

Listen to yourself, but also listen carefully to others. Ask questions. Find out what they truly need from you. If you can help, do so in a way that meets their need—not merely your intention.

Have you ever done something you believed was kind or helpful, only to be blamed or misunderstood for it?

If yes, how did you handle it?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please share your experience in the comments.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi

Learn to Say NO More Often

“He who fetches ant-infested firewood invites lizards to a feast,” says an Igbo proverb. Another says that a man who does not know how a corpse was buried digs it up from the legs.

Take a look at this short story.

There was a time when we used to fetch water from a particular stream in Nike, Enugu. Whenever you visited this stream between 11:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m., it was usually quiet and still, almost as if it was not flowing. At that time, you could literally see the beautiful stones beneath because the water was not deep. That was how clean the stream always was.

However, once people started arriving in large numbers, by 6:00 p.m. the water had changed to an almost brown colour. Those who fetched water first enjoyed clean water, unlike those who came later. It became even worse whenever children decided to play or swim in it, especially during the holidays.

Can we then say that the stream is dirty? Or would it be more accurate to say that because no one directs people on how to keep it clean, it eventually becomes polluted?

The stream in this story represents your mind, where your thoughts originate. Thoughts of both good and evil pass through your mind, and the number of people and things you allow to “swim” there determines how clean your mind remains after they leave.

It is very easy to get along with people if you continue to say “Yes” to everyone and everything. The truth is that yes is a positive response that most people want to hear, but no can also be positive, especially when it protects your safety and well-being. Ultimately, it depends on who benefits from your response.

As children, we were taught to respect our elders and maintain good moral conduct, which is commendable. However, what many of us fail to understand is that saying NO to things that do not align with our values and principles is also a sign of good moral character.

One thing saying NO does is reveal people’s true identity and intentions, especially if you have always been an “Oh yes” member.

Think about how many relationships or friendships you have lost simply because you decided to say NO to things that did not align with your values. Many times, we beg people to stay because we want to feel good, even when there is obvious misalignment of purpose and a lack of trust.

What is my point?

My point is this:

Take charge of your life. Constantly remind yourself that you are not here forever, and therefore you must make the best use of your time. There is no benefit in worrying about the opinions of people who do not know your purpose in life.

Stay focused on your purpose. Pay close attention to people’s behaviour, not just their words, because words mean nothing when they are not supported by actions.

Here are the most important aspects of your life that you should guard with all diligence:

Firstly, guard your mind, your money, and your mouth.

Be aware of your thoughts. Be mindful of what you say. Ensure that you use your resources for your own benefit and for the benefit of others.

Do not abandon yourself in the process of helping and assisting people.

Secondly, guard your time.

Time is constant; you are the one running against it. Be intentional about what—and who—you spend your time on.

Always ask yourself:

Is this worth my time? Can I sacrifice this time without compromising the purpose and plans I have for myself?

Be consistent, just like the clock that faithfully keeps time. Live your life intentionally.

The Bible says there is a time for everything, and a season for every purpose under heaven.

Thirdly, guard your attention.

Whatever you feed will grow. If you give more attention to things that drain you, or to people who distract and pollute your mind, you will eventually bear the consequences.

It is your duty and responsibility to direct your attention towards things that align with your vision and purpose.

Finally, guard your energy.

Everything in life requires energy. Some people attract good relationships but cannot sustain them because of negative energy. Others secure good jobs but cannot keep them because of the negative energy they bring into the workplace.

What kind of energy do you carry?

Is it revenge, unresolved trauma, jealousy, envy, lust, love, kindness, or genuine care?

Whichever it is, work every day to surround yourself with people whose energy sharpens you, gives you peace, helps you grow, and encourages you to become your best self.

By all means, avoid unnecessary arguments, constant comparison, and unrealistic expectations—they drain your energy.

In Summary

If you are like that calm, still, and clean stream with a consistent flow, protect your thoughts from people and things that would pollute them.

If, however, your stream is already filled with debris, seek help and release that burden. You deserve love and happiness, and sometimes they begin with an honest process of internal cleansing.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord…”

Let this be your watchword.

Learn to say NO, because it is one of the greatest shields that will help you conserve your energy, time, attention, and money. Only say YES to the things that uplift you and align with your purpose.

If you made it to this point, congratulations! 🎉

Which of these areas will you intentionally work on preserving more—your mind, time, attention, money, mouth, or energy?

Leave your answer in the comment section.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

Tell Onu Nwanne M That I Am Tired

It was a very hot afternoon when my father called me and gave me the heartbreaking news of Ifeanyi’s passing.

He was fondly called Odo Diele, a name that signifies the faithfulness of the Odo deity. According to family history, his father had longed for a son as his last child and promised the deity that if his wish came to pass, he would name the child after it.

So, Ifeanyichukwu was born, and true to his promise, his father named him Odo Diele—meaning the faithful Odo deity.

As a child, Ifeanyi was fun-loving, protective, and full of life. Whenever I visited Mbanito, our farming village, he would always save the head of the fish for me. It may sound like a small gesture today, but back then, the fish were usually very large, and every child cherished the fried fish head. As I write this, I can almost taste it again. Funny how memories can awaken even the senses.

Beyond his kindness, Ifeanyi loved to laugh. He was always cracking jokes, and his laughter was contagious. He was remarkably strong, wise beyond his years, and deeply caring.

Yet, beneath that cheerful spirit was a silent battle.

I grew up knowing him with a noticeably swollen stomach. Whenever the pain became unbearable, he would cry in agony. Looking back now, I believe it was what we would recognise today as ascites. He suffered immensely, but he fought bravely and somehow managed to keep smiling despite the pain.

Although he lived mostly in Mbanito with his father, he never failed to ask about me whenever anyone visited. I always asked about him too. We shared a bond that distance could never weaken.

Then his condition worsened.

He was taken from one hospital to another. Everyone tried their best. Traditional healers, herbalists, and medical professionals all did what they could. But some battles are fought beyond human strength.

One afternoon, I returned home from school just as my father had come back from Mbanito. I was excited because I knew Ifeanyi always had something waiting for me, even if it was uto (bush apple).

That day, there was no bush apple.

Instead, I received words that carried both the courage of a warrior and the helplessness of a child who desperately wanted to live.

Even in unbearable pain, he remembered me.

His final message was:

“Gwa Onu Nwanne m na ike agwomu.”

“Tell Onuora, my brother, that I am tired.”

At the time, I didn’t fully understand what those words meant.

As I grew older, I realised they were goodbye.

I would never hear his laughter again.

I would never receive another fish head from him.

I would never hear him sing again.

He was only 12 years old when he died.

More than twenty years have passed, yet his memory remains as vivid as ever. Time may soften grief, but it never erases love.

Whenever you come across this post, please say a prayer for Ifeanyi and for everyone who longed to live but was taken by circumstances beyond their control.

May the soul of Ifeanyi and the souls of all the faithful departed continue to rest in perfect peace.

Isee.

And while you still can, value the people around you. Create happiness wherever you find yourself, because none of us will be here forever.

I miss you, Ify, nwannem.

I miss you, Nazy Oyom.

I miss you, Anto.

I miss you, Faith Ya.

Jee nu nke ọma.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

The Joke Culture

There is growing awareness of what many now call the olodo culture—a culture that glorifies behaviour that lacks moral values. It is reflected in the excessive respect people have for money and those who possess it, as well as the attention given to activities that do not improve us but instead deepen ignorance.

Beyond the olodo culture, however, there is another challenge we must confront: the joke culture. This is the habit of reducing matters of national importance into mere entertainment and content for social media. There is an old saying that only a madman mistakes his phallus for a lizard and laughs while it clings to his body. The point is simple: not everything should be laughed away.

Recently, Nigeria’s First Lady made a statement encouraging people to start selling akara (bean cake balls). As usual, the familiar “chicken response syndrome” followed. While the statement itself sparked debate, what happened afterward was not only disappointing—it was predictable. We once again reduced a serious national conversation into jokes, memes, and viral content.

People created memes and skits, not necessarily as a form of protest or constructive criticism, but simply to “catch cruise.”

The unfortunate implication is that the average woman who depends on selling akara or similar businesses for survival is indirectly portrayed as foolish, helpless, or lacking ambition. Instead of feeling respected for engaging in honest work, the constant ridicule surrounding such businesses sends the opposite message.

Akara and kuli-kuli are legitimate businesses. Anyone involved in them should be proud of their work and aspire to grow and expand. Honest labour deserves dignity. However, we must also acknowledge that there is more to nation-building than constantly asking citizens to survive on the bare minimum while avoiding deeper conversations about economic opportunities and good governance.

Looking beyond our borders, the situation in South Africa offers an important lesson. While I do not support violence or the taking of innocent lives under any circumstance, one cannot ignore the level of patriotism demonstrated when people put aside ethnic and political differences to pursue what they believe is in the interest of their nation. Their methods may be wrong, but their sense of collective purpose is worth reflecting on.

Meanwhile, Nigerians remain deeply divided. We continue to tolerate insults, worship wealth regardless of how it is acquired, and somehow convince ourselves that we do not deserve better governance.

My question is this: At what point do we finally say, “Enough is enough”? What more are we waiting to witness before we become truly concerned and determined to reset our national priorities?

The truth is that no one can consistently look down on you without your permission. If citizens do not even understand what they deserve, how can they know what is worth fighting for?

I believe the olodo culture thrives because of the joke culture we have embraced. It seems the entire continent is expected only to dance, sing, and entertain. Is that all our culture represents? We proudly call ourselves the world’s entertainers, yet many of those paying for our entertainment cannot even dance themselves. And when I say “people,” I am not referring only to foreigners. Sadly, many of our own brothers and sisters are also complicit.

Ultimately, the solution to this confusion begins with each of us. We must first accept that we deserve more. We must read, think critically, hold leaders accountable, and vote wisely. It is good to be childlike in humility, but it is dangerous to remain childish in our thinking.

What is your take? Do you think we, as citizens, are complicit in sustaining the very system we complain about? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi

The fowl response pattern.

There is a pattern I call the fowl response pattern.

Whenever a kite snatches a chick from its mother, the hen cries, jumps around, and screams for help. After all the noise, she simply returns to the remaining chicks, almost as if she is waiting for the next attack.

The kite does not treat the duck the same way because the duck will pursue it. She does not wait or merely cry for help; she takes responsibility and fights to protect what she believes is right. The duck believes that no child is more important than another, and that her children should not become a meal for any kite.

Can you see this fowl response pattern in the way many Nigerians respond to unfavourable events? We lament, complain, and express our anger, but too often we stop there.

Recently, the First Lady, accompanied by other women, advised citizens to use government grants to start an akara business in the 21st century. What did many people do? They shouted, lamented, and exchanged insults. By the following month, many had moved on as though nothing had happened.

What struck me even more was that while the announcement was being made, many of the women present nodded in agreement. Ndi eri eri.

A community also recently experienced an attack from a thug well known in Osun State, resulting in the tragic death of a child. The people cried, mourned, and comforted the victim’s family, while the perpetrators continued to roam freely, like the kite waiting for its next chick.

Now, let’s bring this closer to home.

How do you respond to injustice? Do you remain silent, or do you address it wisely? Out of fear of losing relationships or opportunities, do you accept everything, even when it goes against your principles?

When people hurt you, do you spend all your energy crying for help, or do you develop a plan to ensure it does not happen again?

Sometimes, we view every form of force as wrong, even when it is used in lawful self-defence. I believe much of this confusion comes from understanding words in isolation instead of within their proper context.

If someone enters your home with the intention of harming you, should your response be to surrender in the name of being a good citizen or appearing non-violent?

Self-defence is not a crime. You should be able to protect your peace, your family, and your life.

On the other hand, there are times when walking away, creating distance, or improving your circumstances is the wiser solution. After all, not every problem is solved with force said a man when a mosquito perched on his balls.

My point is simple: instead of endless lamentation without meaningful action, we should focus on solutions. As citizens, that means holding leaders accountable through lawful civic participation—voting responsibly, protecting the integrity of our votes through legal means, and supporting those who are committed to positive change.

Likewise, in your personal life, strive to be someone who solves problems instead of merely complaining about them.

If it means taking the bull by the horns, do it—but always ensure that your actions are just, wise, and do not unnecessarily harm others.

Remember, insanity is repeating the same approach over and over while expecting different results.

In the game of chess, your primary responsibility is to protect your king—your life. If you play only defence, you will eventually lose. You must learn when to defend, when to adapt, and how to respond strategically to challenges.

At the end of the day, it is up to you how you choose to live your life: as a victim or a victor, as a complainer or a doer. Whatever you choose, always remember that no life is more important than another.

No one should remain in their own home feeling like a stranger, living in fear and abject poverty while others continue to exploit them.

Everything is about perspective. True strength and power come from being capable of confronting problems but choosing to act with wisdom, restraint, and purpose when necessary. A lion does not wait for permission to protect its territory; it observes, plans, and acts when the time is right.

Above all, be safe, be wise, and protect yourself and those entrusted to your care.

Do not give up on yourself because, if death does not befall the sacrificial yam, it will surely germinate.

(O buru na onwu egbughi ji eji choo aja, emesie o ga epu ome).

I sincerely believe that through a communal approach, mutual responsibility, and collective action, we will triumph over those who seek to keep us divided, fearful, and oppressed.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

Why Have You Stopped Growing?

There is no doubt that our country and its economy are in one of the worst states they have ever been. Many people struggle to eat, let alone think about self-improvement. There are countless graduates who have never secured a job, cannot create one, or even sustain a small business despite their education, simply because they have stopped learning and improving themselves.

Others have remained consistent in their efforts to improve their circumstances. They may not have reached where they desire to be, but the good news is that they are no longer where they used to be.

So, what about you? Why have you stopped improving yourself?

I know you have many excuses. “Since I got married and started bearing children, my focus is now on their future.” “My husband or wife has refused to support me.” Single men and women blame their parents, the government, or the economy.

The blame continues endlessly. There always seems to be a reason for every problem. Yet one of the most alarming issues today is our culture of celebrating mediocrity. Much of the music, comedy, and movies produced today revolve around irrelevant topics while ignoring the real challenges confronting society.

Nevertheless, crime continues to increase at every level, but perhaps the greatest attack is on our educational system. It has become common to study only to pass, and even to pay to pass. Some songs portray education as a scam, yet those same songs could only be written because of the education their writers received.

Our educational system, which once promoted Agriculture, Economics, skills acquisition, and other valuable subjects, has gradually declined in many public schools while becoming more accessible in private schools.

My question remains: Why have you stopped growing?

The excuses above—and many others—are what I call good reasons because almost everyone can relate to them. However, the real question is this: Are they the true reasons why you have stopped working on yourself?

Only you can answer that honestly.

You will begin to find your answer when you evaluate the people you spend time with, the things that interest you, the books you read, and the principles you follow.

Also ask yourself: Are you driven by temporary motivation or by a lasting commitment to succeed, make an impact, live purposefully, and transform your perspective? Or are you simply living according to whatever each day brings?

When people complain, acknowledge that their concerns are real, but never accept them as your permanent reality. Constantly ask yourself, “How can I get through this phase while keeping my values and principles intact?”

There is YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and many other social media platforms. Information is at your fingertips. Make good use of them to learn, solve problems, and create value. When you solve problems, money follows.

Let me tell you something: poor people talk about money; rich people talk about properties and investments; but wealthy people focus on ideas. An idea is your solution to a problem you have identified. For instance, the phone was first an idea before it became a reality. People may call you rich because of the house or car you own, but those creations began as someone’s idea.

In essence, ideas generate wealth. Money cannot buy ideas. Therefore, as important as money is, do not make it your primary pursuit. Instead, focus on creating value, building character, and preserving the future. In doing so, you create a channel of wealth that can outlive you.

Remember also that success is a road less travelled. It often feels lonely. It demands determination and the willingness to leave your comfort zone. There is a price for everything worth having, and you must be willing to pay it. He who wants to bring light must endure burning and heat.

When we were growing up, whenever we needed money for trousers or reigning pams, we carried blocks or did concrete work. We believed that aka aja aja na ebute onu mmanu mmanu (The dirt hands bring forth good money).

My friends, see yourself as water. Refuse to be contained. In seasons when you feel stagnant, deepen your roots, strengthen your skills, and then, with the force of a dam, release sustainable light and lasting impact.

Growth is actually simple. Decide what you truly want, then discard everything that does not move you closer to your vision.

Focus on building yourself. The very people you are looking up to for help today may become the ones who seek your help tomorrow.

The colonial intruders may have left physically, but they have deeply penetrated our minds. It is therefore your responsibility to emancipate yourself from that mental slavery. Embrace your heritage. Love your culture and your community. Invest in yourself and in the lives of others.

I stand for onye aghana nwanne ya. If you must leave your brother, let it be only to make way for him.

Whatever reason you have given yourself for not improving, learning, or growing may be understandable. However, it remains your responsibility not to allow those reasons to keep you down.

Prioritize yourself. Watch your circle. Commit to success. Evaluate every decision against your goals and your values.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

The Value of What We Already Have.

The little bird that chooses to perch on a rope should be ready to dance, because when a deity becomes irresponsible, it will be reminded of the tree from which it was carved.

It is only an Nza bird that challenges its chi simply because it has had enough to eat, forgetting that what an elder sees while sitting down, even if a child climbs the highest mountain, he may still remain lost in obscurity.

Ndi beanyi, ochie akirika ekwesighi itu ujo agwo (the dry old weed should not be afraid of a snake) because it has lived long enough to know that snakes do not feed on grass.

How have we forgotten what we are capable of achieving and instead turned inward to fight ourselves? Surely, the easiest way to destroy a people is to channel their strength against themselves, because a house divided against itself cannot stand. We tear our brothers and sisters down simply because we want to get ahead of them.

We are so focused on what we want and need that we have forgotten the value of what we already have. Being alive and healthy is a blessing. Having a family, siblings, parents, neighbours, and an entire community is fundamental to our existence.

I recall years ago in my village, okpogho ukwuagba, when one of the elders said that wherever there are big hands and big feet, the joy is only complete when tiny hands and tiny feet are found among them, referring to the joy of having children and raising them.

Many of us are quick to think we will be better parents than our own parents, forgetting that it is the principles and training they gave us, or even failed to give us, that have helped shape who we are today. Therefore, we should not be like the nwa nza bird. Instead, we should be appreciative of what we have while striving to improve. Appreciate your parents and guardians while they are still alive, because one day they will become memories.

This is important because life is best understood through perspective, and perspectives are often shaped by a person’s needs and interests.

Take, for instance, if animals had religion. Human beings would likely be their devil because we are the ones who raise, feed, slaughter, cook, and use them for various celebrations.

Again, consider a fingerling whose father was caught by a fisherman trying to provide food for his own family. The fisherman’s child is happy because his father caught a big fish, but what about the fingerling that has become fatherless and may one day end up in the pot just like its father?

You see, the grass that thinks the lion is a hero and the goat is a villain lacks the understanding that lions do not eat grass. Hence, the misconception.

This is to remind us that we are all, in one way or another, indebted to someone or something. Therefore, we must build communities where everyone is valued and respected.

Furthermore, we should not discard our culture, morals, traditions, and medicine simply because people who do not understand us, or who do not even want to understand us, tell us that our way of doing things is primitive. The question is: primitive compared to what?

Secondly, community living, onye aghana nwanne ya (Brother’s keeper), is what we are known for. How did we learn to exist in isolation? Brothers now fight simply because they do not belong to the same religion. Brotherhood should rise above any religious ideology because nwanne bu ike (Brotherhood is power).

Additionally, value what you have: your children, family, good health, and skills. Learn to live in the moment and help those who are less fortunate than you today. Be good to people on your way up because you may meet them again on your way down.

Finally, the poverty many people experience is often the greatest advantage politicians have over them. A hungry person has little else to think about beyond survival. Therefore, before you cast your vote, remember that what you hold in your hands is power. Entrust it to someone who will create a favourable environment for economic growth and prosperity.

In the end, if we all do the right thing, we will all be OK.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi

A hapu ndu kpaa aku—onye iro eri ya! (Health is Wealth)

The first and perhaps only true determinant of happiness is found in not constantly searching for happiness. Statistics show that the rate at which people consume alcohol has declined significantly, but many have switched to harder substances. While alcohol consumption is not good either, people who are constantly searching for happiness or trying to escape reality have upgraded to more dangerous substances.

These hard substances are a major reason we are witnessing increasing rates of kidney failure, liver failure, and mental breakdowns among young people today.

On the other hand, while drugs are affecting mostly young men, the fashion and beauty industries are giving young women reasons to become artificial. There is a reason it is called artificial or plastic. The quest to avoid aging has led many people to use organic creams containing high levels of steroids and other substances, sometimes unknown even to those mixing them.

These concoctions have contributed greatly to the rise of diseases such as cancer, kidney failure, and liver failure.

In today’s world, people are not reading as much anymore. Content creators have become the primary source of information for many. We often know the truth from the lies, yet for some reason, we ignore the truth and embrace the lies.

There are many disturbing things happening in today’s society. Even when we know they are wrong, we choose to participate in them because we do not want to appear different or be seen as unaccommodating.

My point is that it is time to educate yourself and define your own values and principles. Take charge of your health and well-being. Many of the people parading as if they care are business men and women. They are often more concerned about profits than about your health or recovery.

The only lasting happiness is the one that comes from within—the understanding that life will not always be perfect and that things will not always go according to plan. External stimulants and substances only keep people trapped and stagnant in misery.

Here is what I propose, especially for those who are constantly trying to impress others: remember that you are unique and enough. Sadly, no one is really watching you until you start doing something extraordinary.

Read and question every piece of information. Protect yourself from these business men and women by eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. Food is different from a product; one exists for nutritional purposes, while the other is often designed primarily for the manufacturer’s gain.

Open your eyes and ears to positive energy, and close your mouth to negative words. Speak life into your days and nights, and never curse yourself.

In the end, what matters is not how beautiful you look, but how beautifully you have lived in the hearts of others. Always question decisions that do not align with your vision. Finally, do not simply exist in a vacuum; make sure your life is being lived with purpose.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

Our Disunity Is Their Weapon and Strength

Three brothers fell in love with one beautiful girl. None of them was willing to step aside for the others; each wanted to marry her. The girl, on the other hand, was just as confused as the brothers. She could not choose one over the others because each of them played a unique role in her life.

The kind of blindness that obsession creates left them fighting over one girl. One day, they decided to consult a native doctor. After interpreting his affa, the wise native doctor told them that the one who would not say a single word until they got home would be the one the girl would choose.

The three brothers left. As they walked, the youngest reminded the others of what the native doctor had said and then laughed. The second brother immediately responded, “You have said a word.” The oldest then concluded, “Thank God I did not say a word.”

It was at that moment that they all realized they had breached the instruction given to them. It became clear that none of them would marry the beautiful girl unless they either worked together or allowed one among them to marry her.

This story highlights what happens when we refuse to allow ourselves and others to grow. It reveals how our actions may unintentionally become the very factors that hold us back. The joy that comes from succeeding at the detriment or failure of another person often leads to our own failure.

Now, imagine the beautiful girl as Nigeria, and the three brothers as the three major ethnic groups in the country.

Deep down, most people want Nigeria to work. They believe that we are better off together than apart. However, our actions toward one another and our unwillingness to allow our brothers and sisters to grow continue to hold everyone back.

This beautiful country needs all of us because every ethnic group brings something unique and valuable. The unity of the brothers would mean greater benefits for the bride. Likewise, the unity of our people would mean a stronger and more prosperous Nigeria.

When one region is in crisis, another region celebrates, while others simply thank God that it is not happening to them. What we often fail to understand is that when we lift our brother’s hands, our own hands are lifted as well.

The message here is simple: let us unite our ideas and promote individual development for the collective good. As the brothers struggled to possess the beautiful bride, it became evident that a house divided against itself cannot stand.

People are still selling their votes. Activists are being jailed. Ordinary citizens are dying of hunger. The sick cannot afford hospital bills. Yet many continue to promote ethnic and religious division.

Many Nigerians are saddened by the treatment they receive in South Africa, forgetting that we have not fully embraced peace and harmony among ourselves. We discriminate against one another even within our own country.

Our people have a saying: if a man calls his pot bin, his neighbour will use it to pack dirt.

We may be approaching one of our last opportunities to liberate ourselves from this bondage. They are testing their prototype with these off-cycle elections, observing how easily people can be bought. Yes, there is hunger today, but the hunger that will come if we pretend to be asleep during these elections may be far worse.

Always remember that you are somebody, any day and at any time. Do not sell your vote. Say no to religious and ethnic bias. We do not have to be the same to live together.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.

Be Authentic and Be Open to Learning

There is a story about a king who had three faithful successors. Tradition required that a king name his heir at a certain age to maintain order and prevent future family feuds.

This wise king, unsure of whom to choose, decided to test their character, wisdom, and loyalty. In those days, elders often spoke in riddles and created challenges to test the reasoning ability of their children.

He called the three young men and gave each of them a seed. He instructed them to plant and nurture the seed, saying that whoever’s seed germinated, grew, and bore fruit within two years would become his successor.

The three men happily took their seeds and planted them separately.

The seed was well known throughout the kingdom, and everyone knew it usually germinated quickly. However, after three months, none of the seeds had sprouted, and concern began to grow.

Two of the young men decided to obtain similar seeds from elsewhere. After all, they reasoned, if a tree grew, how would the king know whether it came from the original seed or not?

The third man, however, continued watering his seed faithfully, even though nothing appeared. Eventually, he told himself that perhaps it was not his destiny to become king. Since the other two men’s seeds had germinated and blossomed, he resolved to support whichever of them was chosen.

Little did he know that the others had secretly replaced the seeds the king had given them.

On the appointed day, the gong sounded: Kom! Kom! Ko! Ko! Kom! The people gathered, and the king welcomed everyone. It was time for the three men to present the results of their efforts.

The first arrived with a flourishing tree bearing fruit. The second did the same. The crowd applauded loudly. Young men and women celebrated the occasion with excitement and admiration.

Then the third man stepped forward—not with fruit, but with honesty.

He said, “My King, I am honored to have been considered for this position. However, my seed never germinated despite my efforts. I have come only to tell the truth.”

The king smiled and said, “My son, you are the chosen one.”

The crowd fell silent.

The king continued, “I gave each of you a boiled seed, knowing fully well that it could never germinate. These two men deceived me because they wanted to become king by any means necessary.”

Those who had cheered moments earlier suddenly became speechless.

Lessons and Reflections

How often do we rush through a process simply to enjoy people’s praise?

Many people choose leaders because they appear successful, even when their actions produce no meaningful results in the lives of those they lead.

We must understand that the process is just as important as the outcome—if not more important.

A results-only mindset is why a young girl with no job or skill may return home with an expensive phone, yet no one asks how she acquired it.

It is also why a young man with no legitimate source of income can buy expensive cars, stay in luxury hotels, and receive applause from society.

Today, we often celebrate material possessions without questioning the process through which they were acquired.

My point is simple: we must learn to value due process in every aspect of life—education, leadership, business, politics, and personal development.

It is time we stopped celebrating wealth that creates no value for others.

Be like Nkemakolam. Trust the process. Believe in yourself. Do not cheat.

Our people have a saying: “He who is in a hurry to harvest yam will still have to sit down and dig it out when it breaks apart in the soil.”

The lesson is clear: be patient with yourself. Celebrate success that comes through value creation, hard work, and integrity. In doing so, we encourage others to follow the same path.

I remain your friend and brother,

Maazi Onuora Obodoechi