Things to consider before marriage

Virtually every girl wants to get married. Infact from this part of the country once you are up to 18 yrs , suitors will begin to troop in and out of your house. Ministries and some men of God are not even helping matters. All their prophesies are centred on automatic prosperity and happiness..but the truth is whether you believe it or not some people are not marriable. What is your goal of getting married? Is because your mates are all married,you want a name, you want to have your own kids, escape from family problems and shame, correct your mum’s mistake of marrying your father..whatever be your reason of trying to marry ,pause and think on the following things..are you a man or a woman, what thought have you had before trying to settle down? Ponder on these few points..
1) are you an asset or a liability: many women out there are liabilities to their husbands because the husband have everything they want or need, they tend to forget their own goal in life. You don’t contribute to the welfare of the family. The man is the head of the family but the wife is the neck, without the support of the neck ,do you think the head will achieve anything or even do well?
Make yourself an asset. Make your spouse value you. Don’t plan to be a full time house wife..get a job that can help you be close to your children,you can be a teacher, nurse, doctor etc don’t allow your own dream to die because you get married or because you want to marry a rich man.

Help your spouse grow in whatever he or she is doing..have the mindset of improving your spouse. Don’t marry because you want to be free from stress, life heaviest burden is to have nothing to carry. Before you get married , evaluate yourself and know whether you are an asset or a liability to yourself and the person you want to marry.. whether you are a man or a woman.
2)what kind of parent will you be: many people don’t know that you decide in advance the kind of parent(s) you will be to your children. Will you be the type that curses them the way your own parents did to you?, forgetting how you felt those days your parents do call you names. Many parents are the reason why their children didn’t go far in life. According to Micheal and Debi Pearl, children need a mother who teaches them, not a teacher who doesn’t have the emotional energy to mother them; young men need a father who teaches them to work, not a father too busy working to teach them. The best schooling for children is a good home life not a home that is all school.
If you grew up under parents who doesn’t care.. decide to care for your own children, if your parents treated you well ,be more to your children. Never compare your child with anyone, everyone is unique and different in their own way. Determine to be a good parent to your children to come and a good spouse to your partner to come too. Don’t make your children scared of saying the truth.

Most of the mistakes our parents made and some are still making is punishing their children when they say the truth and warning them when they lie. Without training a child first, discipline is insufficient. Training is the conditioning of the child’s mind before the crisis arises. Training is not discipline, discipline only occurs when we fail to train our children.
3) what do you have for your spouse?: This is a very important question everyone should ask his or her self. In the olden days virginity was a virtue every woman works to keep but in this present generation it is lack of opportunity. How do you expect to build trust when you have lost your dignity. You won’t blame anyone though because many things are happening now that was not happening in the olden days but you still have to be yourself,know what you want, develop self control and self respect..make yourself adorable and respectful. Don’t be like every other person. The two quick ways to failure is taking nobody’s advice and taking everybody’s advice. Many people are still virgins because of their attitude- remember your attitude determines your altitude, it doesn’t end in not knowing a man. If you are a virgin but a nagging wife or husband you will end up destroying your marriage..oh how wonderful it will be that you are a virgin spouse with a good attitude. It doesn’t really ends in being a virgin, you must be a woman of substance, industrious woman, responsible man, caring and understanding father.

Have a surprise package for your spouse, determine to be everything worthwhile to him or her.
4)what does marriage mean to you?:if you enter marriage because you want to be free from family stress, you want to change class, and so on..all of them are good but the main essence of marriage is procreation. Marriage is the avenue for continuing God’s work of creation. It is an opportunity of making life. Marriage is entirely different friendship.. though friendship is necessary in marriage because it is what keeps you and spouse together during the time of stress in marriage. Marriage is a task and as such it is not a dance a child dances with snuff in his hands. Think deeply before venturing into it. Marriage was not created to be divorced, so nothing like, let me try and if it not working out, I will quit. Now that you are single is the best time to think about what you really need in your marriage. Be more concern about the character of your supposed spouse than his or her wealth. Find out what you mean to your suppose spouse,read the warning signs. Don’t marry to divorce..think it through. Thank you.

Marriage is not for everyone

Marriage is the union between a man and a woman who comes together and live as husband and wife, thus becoming one. Marriage is not an ordinary contract rather it is a divine covenant. There is no perfect man made for any woman or perfect woman made for any man. The prayer of every person is for God to give us the right person but there are things God can’t do for us..and it is the things we can do for ourselves. It is good to pray but there are principles you must obey ,imbibe and look out for before you propose or you say yes..these principles can’t do without each other.

principles of marriage

According to Oxford dictionary, principles are the truth or general law that is used as a basis for a theory or system of belief. In other words, principles of marriage are the law that guides marriage.

  1. Love: love have been wrongly defined and understood by recent generation. Love have been taken to mean selfishness instead of selflessness. In the book of John 3:16, Jesus showed us the act of true love. For every marriage to work out there must be love- love here means the ability to see in your partner what others cannot see in him or her, the ability to look beyond the physical beauty. You infatuate when what you feel for your spouse is mainly physical. Accepting your spouse flaws and not trying to change him or her according to your own desire,how it will suit you-is what love is all about. Beauty is not that you see with your eyes, it is seen with the mind. You don’t fall in love ,you grow into it. People that fell in love don’t usually stay in love . Material things don’t bring love, kindness, sacrifice, patience, charity are the elements of true love. Love is an expression ,it has to be shown ,is not something you keep in your mind and only you can feel it. Love is patient and it doesn’t end ,so if you love him or her and later you don’t love him..you have never loved him. Be the love you want to see in your marriage. Love is like plant it grows on a fertile soil of quarrel, it’s manure is misunderstanding, to disagree to agree is it’s rainfall but it grows to surpass all these things..when you try to avoid all these things you will never get the love you want. We don’t lose by loving , we lose by holding back..
  2. Principle of understanding: this is the ability to see from the other person’s point of view. It is the acknowledgement of the fact that you too is not perfect. Understanding begots forgiveness. It is the ability to know that sometimes misunderstanding is needed for good understanding. True understanding is the ability to see, judge and act. Before you judge anybody take a walk on his shoes. St Augustine when ever he sees a mad man or a beggar ,his exact words are ” this is Augustine if not by grace of God. People are different,act differently ,think differently;the only thing that differentiated us from animals is our ability to reason. Men and women are completely different in their approach to issues, what will keep you married is the understanding of these differences. Women talk about their problems,that is their own way of relieving themselves of their stress,men don’t talk about theirs until they get solution to it.. problem strikes when the woman wants the man to be like her or vice versa..so there is need for proper understanding of your spouse, study him or her,that is the essence of courtship.
  3. Faithfulness: before you can be faithful to someone you must first of all be faithful to yourself.life is understood backwards but must be lived forward. Same is applied in marriage. Your experiences before you get married should not be brought into your marriage. Faithfulness works with the Golden rule: do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. You don’t gain anything by cheating. Proverb admonishes us thus: the lips of another man’s wife may be as sweet as honey and her kisses as smooth as olive oil. But when it is all over, she leaves you nothing but bitterness and pain. She will take you to the world of the dead,the road she walks is the road to death.(proverb 5vs3-14). These applies to both men and women,the grass appears greener on the other side. Instead of going there, change the way you look at or see your marriage and your marriage will change. Remain faithful you don’t gain anything by cheating..
  4. Trust. Don’t get married to anyone you don’t trust. If you can’t say to some extent what your spouse can do ; then why marrying him or her. Trust is the confidence or reliance you have on someone or something..the believe that you know what your spouse is capable of doing. You can’t trust anyone if you too is not reliable except when he or she have given you reason not to trust again. Always develop trust for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and don’t break trust because it is hard to retrieve once lost. If you can obey this four principles and add other virtues to it , then marriage is for you ,but if you can’t be patient enough to apply this principles.. marriage is not for you. In summary, marriage is not something you rush into; money is not one of the foundamentals of marriage ( topic for another day) but is necessary. Before you reap..LOOK!!! Thank you

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.