Marriage is not for everyone

Marriage is the union between a man and a woman who comes together and live as husband and wife, thus becoming one. Marriage is not an ordinary contract rather it is a divine covenant. There is no perfect man made for any woman or perfect woman made for any man. The prayer of every person is for God to give us the right person but there are things God can’t do for us..and it is the things we can do for ourselves. It is good to pray but there are principles you must obey ,imbibe and look out for before you propose or you say yes..these principles can’t do without each other.

principles of marriage

According to Oxford dictionary, principles are the truth or general law that is used as a basis for a theory or system of belief. In other words, principles of marriage are the law that guides marriage.

1. Love: love have been wrongly defined and understood by recent generation. Love have been taken to mean selfishness instead of selflessness. In the book of John 3:16, Jesus showed us the act of true love. For every marriage to work out there must be love- love here means the ability to see in your partner what others cannot see in him or her, the ability to look beyond the physical beauty. You infatuate when what you feel for your spouse is mainly physical. Accepting your spouse flaws and not trying to change him or her according to your own desire,how it will suit you-is what love is all about. Beauty is not that you see with your eyes, it is seen with the mind. You don’t fall in love ,you grow into it. People that fell in love don’t usually stay in love . Material things don’t bring love, kindness, sacrifice, patience, charity are the elements of true love. Love is an expression ,it has to be shown ,is not something you keep in your mind and only you can feel it. Love is patient and it doesn’t end ,so if you love him or her and later you don’t love him..you have never loved him. Be the love you want to see in your marriage. Love is like plant it grows on a fertile soil of quarrel, it’s manure is misunderstanding, to disagree to agree is it’s rainfall but it grows to surpass all these things..when you try to avoid all these things you will never get the love you want. We don’t lose by loving , we lose by holding back..
2. Principle of understanding: this is the ability to see from the other person’s point of view. It is the acknowledgement of the fact that you too is not perfect. Understanding begots forgiveness. It is the ability to know that sometimes misunderstanding is needed for good understanding. True understanding is the ability to see, judge and act. Before you judge anybody take a walk on his shoes. St Augustine when ever he sees a mad man or a beggar ,his exact words are ” this is Augustine if not by grace of God. People are different,act differently ,think differently;the only thing that differentiated us from animals is our ability to reason. Men and women are completely different in their approach to issues, what will keep you married is the understanding of these differences. Women talk about their problems,that is their own way of relieving themselves of their stress,men don’t talk about theirs until they get solution to it.. problem strikes when the woman wants the man to be like her or vice versa..so there is need for proper understanding of your spouse, study him or her,that is the essence of courtship.
3. Faithfulness: before you can be faithful to someone you must first of all be faithful to yourself.life is understood backwards but must be lived forward. Same is applied in marriage. Your experiences before you get married should not be brought into your marriage. Faithfulness works with the Golden rule: do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. You don’t gain anything by cheating. Proverb admonishes us thus: the lips of another man’s wife may be as sweet as honey and her kisses as smooth as olive oil. But when it is all over, she leaves you nothing but bitterness and pain. She will take you to the world of the dead,the road she walks is the road to death.(proverb 5vs3-14). These applies to both men and women,the grass appears greener on the other side. Instead of going there, change the way you look at or see your marriage and your marriage will change. Remain faithful you don’t gain anything by cheating..
4. Trust. Don’t get married to anyone you don’t trust. If you can’t say to some extent what your spouse can do ; then why marrying him or her. Trust is the confidence or reliance you have on someone or something..the believe that you know what your spouse is capable of doing. You can’t trust anyone if you too is not reliable except when he or she have given you reason not to trust again. Always develop trust for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and don’t break trust because it is hard to retrieve once lost. If you can obey this four principles and add other virtues to it , then marriage is for you ,but if you can’t be patient enough to apply this principles.. marriage is not for you. In summary, marriage is not something you rush into; money is not one of the foundamentals of marriage ( topic for another day) but is necessary. Before you reap..LOOK!!! Thank you