“He who fetches ant-infested firewood invites lizards to a feast,” says an Igbo proverb. Another says that a man who does not know how a corpse was buried digs it up from the legs.
Take a look at this short story.
There was a time when we used to fetch water from a particular stream in Nike, Enugu. Whenever you visited this stream between 11:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m., it was usually quiet and still, almost as if it was not flowing. At that time, you could literally see the beautiful stones beneath because the water was not deep. That was how clean the stream always was.
However, once people started arriving in large numbers, by 6:00 p.m. the water had changed to an almost brown colour. Those who fetched water first enjoyed clean water, unlike those who came later. It became even worse whenever children decided to play or swim in it, especially during the holidays.
Can we then say that the stream is dirty? Or would it be more accurate to say that because no one directs people on how to keep it clean, it eventually becomes polluted?
The stream in this story represents your mind, where your thoughts originate. Thoughts of both good and evil pass through your mind, and the number of people and things you allow to “swim” there determines how clean your mind remains after they leave.
It is very easy to get along with people if you continue to say “Yes” to everyone and everything. The truth is that yes is a positive response that most people want to hear, but no can also be positive, especially when it protects your safety and well-being. Ultimately, it depends on who benefits from your response.
As children, we were taught to respect our elders and maintain good moral conduct, which is commendable. However, what many of us fail to understand is that saying NO to things that do not align with our values and principles is also a sign of good moral character.
One thing saying NO does is reveal people’s true identity and intentions, especially if you have always been an “Oh yes” member.
Think about how many relationships or friendships you have lost simply because you decided to say NO to things that did not align with your values. Many times, we beg people to stay because we want to feel good, even when there is obvious misalignment of purpose and a lack of trust.
What is my point?
My point is this:
Take charge of your life. Constantly remind yourself that you are not here forever, and therefore you must make the best use of your time. There is no benefit in worrying about the opinions of people who do not know your purpose in life.
Stay focused on your purpose. Pay close attention to people’s behaviour, not just their words, because words mean nothing when they are not supported by actions.
Here are the most important aspects of your life that you should guard with all diligence:
Firstly, guard your mind, your money, and your mouth.
Be aware of your thoughts. Be mindful of what you say. Ensure that you use your resources for your own benefit and for the benefit of others.
Do not abandon yourself in the process of helping and assisting people.
Secondly, guard your time.
Time is constant; you are the one running against it. Be intentional about what—and who—you spend your time on.
Always ask yourself:
Is this worth my time? Can I sacrifice this time without compromising the purpose and plans I have for myself?
Be consistent, just like the clock that faithfully keeps time. Live your life intentionally.
The Bible says there is a time for everything, and a season for every purpose under heaven.
Thirdly, guard your attention.
Whatever you feed will grow. If you give more attention to things that drain you, or to people who distract and pollute your mind, you will eventually bear the consequences.
It is your duty and responsibility to direct your attention towards things that align with your vision and purpose.
Finally, guard your energy.
Everything in life requires energy. Some people attract good relationships but cannot sustain them because of negative energy. Others secure good jobs but cannot keep them because of the negative energy they bring into the workplace.
What kind of energy do you carry?
Is it revenge, unresolved trauma, jealousy, envy, lust, love, kindness, or genuine care?
Whichever it is, work every day to surround yourself with people whose energy sharpens you, gives you peace, helps you grow, and encourages you to become your best self.
By all means, avoid unnecessary arguments, constant comparison, and unrealistic expectations—they drain your energy.
In Summary
If you are like that calm, still, and clean stream with a consistent flow, protect your thoughts from people and things that would pollute them.
If, however, your stream is already filled with debris, seek help and release that burden. You deserve love and happiness, and sometimes they begin with an honest process of internal cleansing.
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord…”
Let this be your watchword.
Learn to say NO, because it is one of the greatest shields that will help you conserve your energy, time, attention, and money. Only say YES to the things that uplift you and align with your purpose.
If you made it to this point, congratulations! 🎉
Which of these areas will you intentionally work on preserving more—your mind, time, attention, money, mouth, or energy?
Leave your answer in the comment section.
I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.
Pen it down. 