There is a growing trend of discussion around a concept called Black Tax. I may not know who coined the term, but since it has gained wide acceptance without much critical evaluation, I will maintain the nomenclature so we can clearly engage in this conversation. 🌸❤️
Black Tax is a term used to describe the assumption that once someone travels abroad, he or she has automatically “made it.” As a result, family and friends often expect them to provide support—sometimes without considering how that person is truly faring. ❤️🌸
Sequel to the detachment guilt I discussed previously—where I argued that the family you came from should receive 20% of your time while your immediate family gets 80% to maintain balance—my very good brother, Okwesilieze Michael, disagreed. He maintained that family attention and love should not be reduced to mathematics but addressed on a needs-based basis. 🌸❤️
Nevertheless, regarding Black Tax, some people argue that as a child, you owe your parents or siblings nothing. According to them, parents should pray for your stability and not expect anything in return. If you choose to give, fine; if not, you owe no obligation. They further support their stance by pointing to cases of individuals abroad who have suffered or even died under the weight of family responsibilities, often at the expense of their own health. Therefore, they conclude that it is solely the parents’ responsibility to train their children—not the other way around. ❤️🌸
Having listened to these arguments and experienced life in the Western world, I understand where they are coming from. This aligns with Western culture, where parents provide for their children regardless of age, and it is left to the children to decide whether to reciprocate. It is not considered a serious issue. Indeed, it is true that some people collapse under the burden of family expectations abroad. I also agree that parents have the responsibility to raise their children. 🌸❤️
However, I must remind us that our culture and belief system are rooted in looking out for one another—our brothers, our sisters—which stands in direct contrast to the culture we are now imitating. In our tradition, when parents train their children, those children, in turn, care for them in old age. ❤️🌸
We are often quick to adopt new ideas and generalize them without recognizing that circumstances differ. Remember, he who must bring light must learn to endure burning. If you grew up in a family where your parents struggled tirelessly to raise and support you, it would be unfair to look them in the face and say you owe them nothing—that they simply did their job. 🌸❤️
That said, there is no universal rule for responding to family expectations. You know where you come from. You understand your family’s struggles and the character of your siblings. Let these realities guide your decisions. ❤️🌸
Always set your priorities right. Do what is necessary and meaningful. Do not create dependency—empower instead. 🌸❤️
We are Africans. We are family-oriented people. We care deeply for one another. What you do for your family should never be seen as a tax but as a responsibility and a privilege. You should find joy in uplifting your family—maka na aku ruo ulo, amara onye kpatara. ❤️🌸
In conclusion, let us rethink our perspectives, for when we change how we see things, what we see will also change. Be honest with yourself. Communicate clearly with your family and friends about what you can and cannot do—without being disrespectful. 🌸❤️
Understand the system you are in, and strive to build value back home. Put yourself first where necessary, but never forget that family is strength—family is everything. ❤️🌸
Black Tax or not, Nne na nna zuchaa nwa, nwa ha zuo ha..onye aghana nwanne ya. Find a way to avoid being overburdened. Speak up without guilt when expectations become too heavy—but never bite the finger that fed you. Be your brother’s keeper. 🌸❤️
I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi ❤️🌸
Pen it down. 