There is little value in repeatedly being kind to an entitled person—someone who only takes from others and never feels the need to give back. It is important to watch out for such people. They may not have much themselves, yet they can make you feel guilty for not having enough to give them.
Some schools of thought believe that one ought to give without remembering, but there is also an important lesson in learning to receive without forgetting.
Many people live their lives as though no one has ever helped them. They borrow ideas but never acknowledge the source. They receive clothes, shoes, financial assistance, and other forms of support, yet somehow come to believe that these things are their entitlement.
This is not a new phenomenon. We see an example in the Bible when the Lord Jesus healed ten lepers, but only one thought it necessary to return and show appreciation. The other nine went on their way without expressing gratitude.
We also see a lesson in the story of Nebuchadnezzar. He became so wealthy and powerful that he began to attribute everything he had to his own strength, resilience, and determination. Pride and grandiosity took hold of him, to the point where the Lord had to humble him and make him experience a completely different side of life.
The point of these examples is to remind us that it is human nature to assume that the person helping us must have everything going well for them. The truth, however, is that many people who give have simply cultivated the habit of being kind and are willing to give a little of what they themselves have received.
The teaching about giving says that your left hand should not know what your right hand is doing. However, that does not mean the person receiving should not be appreciative.
Now, here is my point: learn to be grateful for the life, health, and resources you have today. Use some of what you have to assist another person. At the same time, be careful not to fall into the hands of ungrateful people. And when you do encounter them, do not allow their ingratitude to discourage you from helping others.
Just recently, I came across a story about a woman who sued a man for performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) on her drowning child. She claimed that the man caused the child to suffer a broken rib and that this subjected her to pain and emotional distress. The question that comes to mind is: would it have been better for the child to drown with intact ribs, or to survive with a broken one?
This is where the world seems to have gotten to. Someone can go out of their way to save another person’s life, only to be criticised or punished for the way they did it. Just imagine the thought process behind such a reaction. The focus became what could be gained from the situation rather than recognising the help that had been offered.
Again, my point is that ungrateful people come in different forms, and their behaviour can sometimes discourage you from being kind to those who genuinely need your help.
Overall, learn to appreciate the people who have helped you. It may not always be financial. Someone who checks up on you every day, offers you encouragement, shares an idea, gives you an opportunity, or simply stands by you in difficult times is also being helpful.
Learn to return favours, even if you cannot return them to the exact person who helped you. If you have been blessed with the ability to help, extend that help to someone who genuinely needs it.
Finally, do not become an entitled person. Whatever you achieve through hard work, discipline, routines, habits, opportunities, and the environment in which you were raised should make you humble and wise—not arrogant.
Prioritise being kind to people on your way up, because you may meet them again on your way down.
We are all here for one another. Do not be an ingrate, and do not pour your help endlessly into people who refuse to value it. Some people will focus only on what you are not doing for them while belittling everything you have already done, as though your kindness were simply your responsibility.
Be kind, but guide your kindness with wisdom.
I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi
