When I reflect on how we are moving as a people, accepting new ideas, cultures, and modernization without critical evaluation, I become deeply concerned.
In many advanced nations, care homes are very common. They were originally created for elderly people or those facing mental health challenges. However, over time, what was meant to support families in caring for their loved ones has, in some cases, become a matter of convenience.
As I have always maintained, an act in itself is not usually detrimental; it becomes so depending on who is in charge and the intentions behind it.
Today, many young ladies openly say they do not want their mothers-in-law living with them and would rather place them in care homes. Whether this is a good decision or not depends largely on the motivation behind it.
Nevertheless, care homes were primarily created for people who are unable to carry out activities of daily living or those who require specialist care.
Sadly, we are gradually moving away from the moral fulfillment that comes from looking after our elderly loved ones. I often reflect on how it must feel to leave your home, relatives, friends, children, and grandchildren to move into a care home. Imagine the loneliness and anxiety such a transition may bring.
In the past, old age was seen as a blessing that people looked forward to. Today, however, the thought of growing old creates anxiety for many. A person’s importance and relevance now seem tied to their ability to provide. Once they become weak or dependent, many want them moved away into solitude.
There is no doubt that care homes are important, but I worry about our people because of the lack of proper regulations, the vindictive attitudes of some daughters-in-law, and the negative perception society now holds toward old people.
One of the reasons people marry is for companionship and support in old age. Unfortunately, many marriages today do not last, leaving behind lonely elderly people with little support.
It is therefore important that we all sit down and reflect on what we are doing today. Some of the systems and facilities being introduced are meant to assist us, not make us emotionally and morally redundant.
I will conclude with this: while modernization and new ideas are good, we must not forget our moral obligation to care for our loved ones and only seek outside help when it becomes truly necessary.
Old age should never be seen as a burden. Every young person should strive to plan their later years wisely. Find something meaningful to keep you active and fulfilled, even after retirement.
Finally, family is power. Do not allow the pressures and commercialization of the modern world to make you abandon the parents who never abandoned you as a child, leaving them to die lonely and far away from home.
I am not condemning care homes. What I am saying is that they should be a last resort, not the first option simply because elderly parents are seen as an inconvenience.
Take care of your parents. Be there for them. Take their grandchildren to visit them and make their final years memorable. That is all I am saying because, in time to come, you too may find yourself in the same position.
Our people say that when a goat chews its cud, the young one watches and learns. When you take care of your parents, your children will learn from you and, in turn, take care of you.
I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.
Pen it down. 