Which is more important: being free to do whatever you want, or being guided to choose your needs over your wants?
Any wise person would choose to live intentionally and be guided by principles and values. Today, conversations about relationships have become dominant across many social media platforms. Unfortunately, much of the discussion is centered on avoiding a man’s controlling nature or a woman’s manipulative behavior.
Women accuse men of being the villains, while men blame women in return. The people who suffer the most are often the kind-hearted individuals who genuinely believe in supporting their partners and helping them grow. Sadly, these people frequently become victims of the bitterness and anger spreading from one platform to another.
A dangerous mindset is gradually becoming common in society: many people no longer want to endure challenges in relationships. Everything is quickly labeled toxic, and many enter relationships already leaving a window open for separation or divorce.
In some extreme cases, even ending a relationship has become risky because entitlement and emotional instability have consumed many people. However, that is a discussion for another day.
The issue I want us to reflect on today is self-accountability. People must learn to hold themselves accountable for the decisions that bring them pain and disappointment because that is the only way growth and wisdom can come.
Instead of living recklessly in your younger years and later blaming society or others, invest in yourself. Learn a skill, study, develop yourself, and build personal values that will guide your life.
Today, sexualized content and the promotion of nudity are booming, but what many people fail to realize is that tomorrow, their children may have access to the life they publicly displayed today because the internet never forgets.
Rather than hiding behind the phrase “young and dumb,” live your life according to meaningful values and principles.
Purity and chastity have been so watered down that people hardly speak about them anymore. Yet, self-discipline helps build self-control, self-worth, self-love, dignity, and confidence.
When a person gives themselves carelessly to anyone at any time, it often reflects how they value themselves and what they believe they deserve.
The point I am making is simple: any freedom without boundaries eventually leads to destruction. Pleasure and enjoyment are not wrong, but they should be guided by personal principles and values.
Many people have been deeply hurt, and as a result, they now despise anyone who appears genuinely good. Some have suffered so much that they have become like the very people who hurt them. I recently saw a lady on TikTok teaching women how to hurt men, while another man was teaching men how to hurt women.
Ironically, these same people still hope to get married someday and raise children.
I believe we all need healing, and we need to give love a chance again. There is so much hidden pain behind fake smiles, luxurious lifestyles, and attractive appearances.
As I conclude, whether you are a man or a woman, make sure you are living your life according to principles and values that align with your purpose.
Let us place personality, character, and personal development above fleeting fantasies and unhealthy societal trends. People should focus on creating value, building strong character, and preserving themselves for meaningful relationships.
The constant promotion of bodily exposure and unhealthy enticement, especially among young people, should be carefully addressed.
Many people who truly understand what is happening in society today are deeply concerned about the level of unhappiness that may emerge in the near future. We are gradually losing the culture of shame, accountability, and honest self-reflection.
Finally, being an adult does not mean being reckless or making destructive decisions simply because you have the freedom to do so. Let us stop transferring pain and hurt to others. Let us heal, rebuild our values, and live lives that help us fulfill our purpose.
“O ma akwa asa ahu mara onwe ya.”
I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi.
Pen it down. 