There is no doubt that it is easier to think positively, remain optimistic, and be hopeful about life and the future. However, it is also true that we can become pessimistic and lost in thought when everything is not going according to plan.
Nevertheless, the advice has always been to pick yourself up and keep moving. This advice often comes from people who have no idea how painful the experience was or the consequences of continuing. It is at this point that some people choose to appear strong in order to preserve whatever dignity they have left.
One thing is clear: every experience is individualised, and the pain is directly proportional to the expected outcome that never came to be.
The question, therefore, is: should we give up when things don’t go as planned?
The answer is a capital NO!
What, then, should we do?
Apart from asking this question, another important question you should ask when faced with difficult challenges is: How good was my sacrifice?
I will start with the second question and explain the need for us to be intentional when embarking on a project. I will explain this using a parent’s love for their children and family.
Parents spend all their savings on their children. Mothers give up sleep to sing at night, while fathers work late nights to ensure that the household remains intact. Both parents are doing all these things—making these sacrifices—because they love their children and want them to become better members of society.
Apart from looking at the physical contributions they are making for their family, I want you to take a moment to look at their mindset.
It is their mindset that qualifies their sacrifices. It is the same mindset that separated Abel’s sacrifice from Cain’s.
Their mindset is filled with hope, faith, discipline, conscious decisions, and self-denial because they believe that what is yet to come is worth the sacrifices they are making.
Another practical example is someone who wants to learn a skill, graduate with a first-class degree, or start a business. He or she devotes time, effort, self-denial, and other resources simply because they believe in what is yet to come.
So, the question in your mind may be: What happens after spending so much on your children and they end up becoming bad or unappreciative? What happens after sacrificing your time, energy, and resources towards a particular goal, only for it to turn out negatively?
My solution is for you to H.U.G yourself and continue.
H-Honest assessment.
U-Understand the situation.
G-Get up and keep going.
That is, instead of giving up, complete an honest assessment of the situation:
Did I do my best at the time?
Is there something I can learn from this?
And most importantly, what else can I do at this moment?
Secondly, understand that it is not your fault. Separate the situation from yourself. It is the business or programme that didn’t work out, not you. Therefore, it is your duty to understand why it didn’t work out and correct it.
The understanding that you are separate from whatever you accomplish or fail to accomplish will always allow you to figure out solutions to every problem.
Finally, get up and keep moving.
Our people have a saying that the chimpazee might be delayed by a trap, however he must get home. (Mkpakara ga ama ozo ma ozo ga ana).
Overall, as you sacrifice for anything, make sure your mindset is built not just on gains or profits, but also on faith, love, trust, and courage—the belief that whatever you are sacrificing for will be worth more than what you already have.
If being awake now will mean you will have a good old age and beautiful grandchildren, then why are you oversleeping?
If putting money aside means you will defeat poverty in the generations to come, why are you eating away your future?
Whatever you are doing, ensure that it is worth it. And when things don’t go the way you planned, don’t kill yourself or beat yourself up too much. Instead, HUG yourself and keep moving.
Finally, do the thing you fear and keep on doing it. That is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear—Dale Carnegie.
I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi
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Never give up; it can only get better.
Pen it down. 