Our people have a saying: he who is holding someone down is also unintentionally holding himself or herself down (Onye ji mmadu n’ala ji onwe ya ❤️). Truly, there are horrible people everywhere—in the community, school, workplace, household, etc. These people can betray you or cause you deep pain, but the strongest weapon you have against them is forgiveness ❤️.
Now, here is where many people miss it: forgiveness does not mean forgetting ❤️. Forgetting may apply depending on the offence or circumstances, but forgiveness is remembering without allowing the pain to control you ❤️.
When you learn from your pain, you grow and build healthy boundaries that allow you to love and be loved without fear or resentment ❤️. Forgive, but limit access. Burn a bridge where necessary, but do not be consumed by the fire by refusing to forgive—especially forgiving yourself ❤️.
Free your mind from the mistakes, decisions, and choices you made ❤️. Forgive your offender, forgive yourself, and then start afresh ❤️.
When you learn to forgive yourself and others, it creates an environment that promotes your body’s healing ❤️. Truthfully, chronic anger is linked to high blood pressure, weakened immunity, fatigue, and poor sleep ❤️. However, when you let go through forgiveness, it can improve sleep, lower stress hormones, and boost overall health ❤️.
Additionally, forgiveness restores your sense of control ❤️. Forgiving someone is choosing how much power the past has over you. It is your ability to stop letting someone else’s actions dictate your present emotions ❤️. This inability to let go and grow from hurt is why many people return to their exes or keep blaming ex-partners in present relationships ❤️.
Also, when you forgive, it allows you to move forward instead of staying stuck ❤️. Forgiveness does not excuse what happened—it simply stops the past from blocking your future ❤️. It opens the door to growth, peace, and new possibilities ❤️. Many people remain stuck because they keep staring at a closed door, hoping to go back in time to change things ❤️. Let go and move on. Take the lesson and the blessing, forgive yourself, and become better ❤️.
Finally, forgiveness protects your mental and emotional health ❤️. Resentment fuels stress, anxiety, and bitterness. Forgiveness reduces emotional weight and creates space for calm, clarity, and emotional balance ❤️.
Bonus Tip ❤️
If someone has hurt you so badly that beating them would make you feel better, this formula is for you ❤️.
Buy or construct a teddy bear (poor teddy ❤️), give it the person’s name, buy a cane, and flog the hell out of it in the form of the teddy ❤️.
This also works when someone wrongs you but refuses to apologise ❤️. Get a teddy or their picture, talk to it as if they are the person, counter all the defences, and in the end forgive them ❤️. It is not madness—it is called mental ventilation ❤️. It may be mistaken for insanity only if you do it every day 😄❤️.
Once you are done flogging or ventilating, set boundaries ❤️. Burn or discard the teddy appropriately and move on with your life ❤️.
Do not allow anyone to live rent-free in your mind when they do not deserve it ❤️. You are important—to yourself, your family, your friends, and the world at large ❤️. Turn your thoughts and sight toward the sunlight, and see your worries cast as shadows behind you ❤️.
Chukwu do be gi ❤️
I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi ❤️
Pen it down. 