Becoming a Man
The primary obligation of a man in life is to become himself.
Just as every fruit or tree is hidden within a seed, so too are inventions and discoveries hidden within a man. Most of the things we use today were not created by God directly; rather, He imbued every man with the knowledge and skills required to discover and invent them.
Therefore, manhood is not defined by how well you protect, provide for, or guard your family, nor by how well you love your wife and children—but by how much of yourself you have become.
In other words, manhood is not defined by the role you perform, but by the work you do.
Work is different from a job. A job is what you do to earn a living, while work is what you become to make life meaningful. The Bible says God will bless the work of your hands, not merely the job or career of your life (Deuteronomy 28:12).
Work means to become—to manifest, to reveal yourself, or to fulfill your assignment. In simple terms, it is the process of bringing out what is already inside you. Scripture reminds us that “a man’s gift makes room for him” (Proverbs 18:16).
A woman does not make a man, because women were created to work with the man. As a man, your woman’s role is to support you in your work—to be a helpmate in sustaining your gift. Compatibility, therefore, implies that her gift supplements your work.
Being a man also means remaining in the presence of God at all times, because God lives in you and speaks to you continually. A man must discover what fulfills him—what he does effortlessly. It may be writing, teaching, singing, surgery, or any other expression of purpose—because this is what defines him. Your gift is your work.
A man must cultivate and maximize his gift or talent. He must grow in significance and originality. Manhood also requires the ability to protect, guard, and defend one’s gift or vision from bad associations and dream killers such as doubt, fear, and low self-esteem.
A man is further called to be a teacher—through guidance, training, and leadership. True strength is not found in suppression, but in gentle, firm love.
This does not mean that your job is unimportant. In Ecclesiastes 11:6, God advises that we plant in the morning—by going to our job, career, or business—and not keep our hands idle in the evening, by working on our gift, talent, or vision. We do this because we do not know which will succeed, or whether both will prosper.
This message is not an encouragement to quit your job, abandon your family, or discard your business. Rather, it is a call to actualize your potential and become valuable, even while working your job. As you work, strive to be unique. If your work aligns with your job—as in the case of doctors, lawyers, nurses, or teachers—the most important thing is that you fulfill God’s purpose for your life.
In conclusion, God gave man work—the obligation to become valuable (Genesis 2:15)—before He gave him a woman, a helpmate (Genesis 2:24). It is self-deception to believe that a woman makes a man. Rather, a woman needs a man who has become, so she can fulfill her own work.
My final advice to you reading this is simple: become yourself.
Do not bury your talent or potential because you are comfortable or feel it is too late. It is better late than never. Manhood is not defined by drinking, smoking, fighting, or womanizing, but by becoming a problem solver and a person of integrity.
People pay for value.
Value attracts provision.
If you desire to be wealthy and fulfilled, become valuable.
It is biologically common to be male, but it takes work—true work—to make a man.
I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi
Pen it down. 