🌸 Ndi Igbo si na ọ bụ otu anya ka eji alu nwanyị, but I want to paraphrase it: ọ bụ otu anya ka eji alu di na nwunye. ❤️
(Patience and tolerance are the bedrock for sustaining a marital relationship.)
We also have this saying that a palm-wine tapper does not say everything he sees while on the palm tree. (Dị ọchi anaghị ekwucha ihe ọhụrụ n’elu nkwu). 🌺
As humans, we are called to tolerate each other, especially in relationships. There is a high rate of relationship breakdowns—best friends who once loved each other turning into vicious enemies. One would wonder why people grow apart; sometimes it results from uncommunicated intentions and expectations during courtship. 💔
People’s needs and expectations change over time, but many are not able to express themselves, resulting in acting out. Those who are expressive are often seen as nagging. This issue has become a case of sharp knives lacking handles while those with handles are no longer sharp (mma dị n’nkọ adịghị isi, nke dị isi adịghị n’nkọ).
So how then do we address this mayhem that has befallen our young generation? There is no point blaming our parents or society.
First, let’s call a spade a spade. It is often seen as normal when a woman becomes verbally aggressive towards her husband, yet the husband is expected to remain calm and simply walk away. This approach has not been productive, as it has led to more family and relationship breakdowns, with men emotionally detaching from their spouses and children—fueling more verbal abuse not just from the wife but sometimes from the entire family or community.
Conversely, when a woman tolerates an abusive man “for the sake of the family,” many have paid with their lives, as it still does not solve anything. 💔💐
Therefore, there is a great need to address the misconception that a woman’s power lies in her tongue—implying that she can say anything she wishes to her partner while expecting him not to react.
I recommend that if you are in a relationship, employ the Igbo eneche aghara paradigm. 🌿
This aligns with the word of God, which instructs that the meditation of your heart and the words of your mouth be acceptable before the Lord. In this case, let your words and responses be acceptable before your spouse. ❤️
Form the habit of expressing yourself and communicating your intentions in a way your partner can understand. 💖
I remain your friend and brother,
Onuora Obodoechi 🌺
Pen it down. 