An Italian proverb says that rotten fish begins to stink from the head. If you have ever fetched drinking water from a stream, you will know that once the head (the source) becomes dirty, the entire stream becomes contaminated. 🌺
However, when external factors such as debris are prevented from entering the stream, the risk of contamination declines.
In the same way, it is important to control what you think and believe about yourself—especially when your happiness depends on people’s opinions or compliments. 💐
A child was once given bread, and he became so happy that he danced and told everyone how tasty it was. People who have the privilege of eating bread every day could not understand his joy, but as the saying goes, the fowl of a poor man is his cow. 🌸
In the same way, people may not understand your ability, strength, conviction, value, or beauty if you do not recognize it yourself.
So instead of seeking validation before you act, act first. 💖 When people question you or act surprised, take it as an opportunity to educate them, not to doubt yourself. 🌷
Look inward. Appreciate your values and be happy with who you are, because there is no other copy of you anywhere. 🌺 Why allow another individual to make you uncomfortable to the point where you are always struggling to fit in, when you were meant to stand out uniquely?
Another way to understand this is that validation is a rented sense of worth. When you stop chasing it, you start owning your value instead of borrowing it. 🌸
When you move from asking “Am I approved?” to “Am I aligned?” your confidence begins to grow. Seeking validation means every decision runs through other people’s reactions first. But when you ask, “Does this feel right to me?” your inner compass becomes louder than the outside noise. 💖
This is not arrogance—it is selective listening: choosing opinions that align with your purpose and recognizing when fear and doubt wear the clothes of advice. 🌷
To grow your confidence, act more and overthink less. 🌼 Validation creates hesitation—“What if they don’t like it?” Instead, move with self-trust and say, “I’ll adjust if needed, but I’m moving.” 💐
Confidence grows when your sense of worth comes from self-trust rather than external applause. The less permission you need to be yourself, the more powerful you feel doing it. 🌸
This does not disregard the role of mentors and coaches in our lives; rather, it is when you know your worth that you can discern which qualities in a mentor to emulate. 💖
Believe in yourself. Trust yourself to grow. You may not be where you need to be, but you are not where you used to be—always remind yourself of that. 🌺
And remember, just because everyone is doing it does not make it right for you. Live by principles and values that align with your purpose, and keep your head up. 🌷
👉 Take a moment today to reflect on your values, act on what feels right to you, and stop waiting for permission to be yourself. If this message resonates with you, share it and encourage someone else to trust their worth too. 💖🌸
Chukwu gozie gi.
I remain your friend and brother,
Maazi Onuora Obodoechi 🌼
Pen it down. 